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The Caregivers' Guilt Dumpster - Open for business

Caregivers | Last Active: 2 days ago | Replies (37)
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@crypea

Hello. This is my first post on this site and I am so thankful for the “dumpster “. After reading everyone’s comments, I am so glad I am not alone - even though most days it feels that way. So I have to do some dumping starting with a big SCREAM! Moving on to the “why me” guilt trip and last for today🤦🏻‍♀️, I can’t do anything right.

So my husband of 11 years was diagnosed with Wernicke's encephalopathy due to chronic alcoholism. He had trouble walking, standing, memory and vision loss and can no longer work, drive, or do anything around the house. He eats, sleeps, has vestibular therapy and creates plenty of work for me. Sometimes it is difficult to keep up. He has two sons and neither are able to help out so my daughter will stay with him when I need to go out. He is sleeping now, so some respite until we start again tomorrow.

Last dump (or compliant) for today, I am drowning here and can’t seem to find my life vest😥!

Thanks so much for providing a safe place to ‘dump’.

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sillyblone | @sillyblone | 3 days ago

My heart goes out to you. You are not alone. We all say things and usually it to someone we love and is rude, disrespectful, combative, selfish and blaming you for a problem that is neither mine or his! I was sick for several days. Tired and just needed rest. I had to get out of bed ,chair or wherever. His comment was constantly when are you going to cook, fix some tea, or something he wanted to eat. Finally, I said " Did I not go to the grocery store the day before"? Of course he said yes. Can you make a sandwich. He answered yes. Is there fruit , nuts chicken soup that was homemade ? Yes. I said what is the problem then? His response was I can get it. He knows he can't use the stove and he can't cook. He makes a sandwich and had some fruit. I had 2 hours of straight sleep. I asked him did he have any problems that needed addressed and he said "No". I pulled myself up and cooked for the next meal. No thank you and no comments about how I felt. The worse part was it was our Anniversary! I was sick for 4 more days after. 😪 I bet he would do the same thing everyday...he did.I don't feel guilty because I have been healthy and helping for years as a caregiver. That is my dumpster story and I still think he does not get it ..but what can you do! Absolutely nothing. You keep going and keep going like the enigizer bunny.

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