My husband is dying of lung cancer. It was diagnosed in september of last year and was already stage 4. They told him with treatments he may last 2 years but without, 6 months. He did two chemo/immunotherapy treatments and decided that he could not do any more. HIs last one was in January. Hopsice got involved then and they are great. They come twice a week and are on call 24/7. Today his hospice nurse came to check on him. On her way out, she told me that he has declined since she saw him two weeks ago. She said her guess was he has about 2 months. My guilt comes from sometimes getting grumpy with him as he is constantly calling me for things. I do my best to stay nice and happy but sometimes he just makes me so frustrated. He refused to use his walker and within the last 3 days, he fell 6 times. I am the only caregiver and have to pick him up. I am so afraid that he is going to really hurt himself or I will hurt myself. I will be 70 next month. Thank God he doesn't weigh much or I would not be able to get him up. I have told him time and time again to use his walker, but he refused. Now he finally started to use it. Anything the hospice nurses or I suggest something that may help him, he snorts and says that he doesn't need it or want it. He is his own worst enemy. He also is an addict and tends to take too many of his pain meds. Finally hospice had to only give him a 3 day supply of meds so he would not do that anymore. He will then call around and ask people if they have pain meds. He even called and asked my two sons. I just get so tired of this behavior and it makes me irritated to say the least. Then I have to remind myself that he is dying and then I feel ashamed of myself. I apologize every time if I get a little short with him. But trying to help someone and they fight or argue with you on every front makes for a tiring life. So, I really try hard not to be rude because I know as hard as it is for me, it is much worse for him. It is so hard to watch someone you love slip away day by day.