Mish, Didn’t your surgeon know beforehand that your surgery was going to be difficult because of the hernia repair(s)? Did you both discuss this before going in?
IMO, if node dissection was going to be off the table, you probably could have gone on ADT as soon as you learned you were G9; the surgery could have then been done 3 or 4 months after that to provide for additional healing.
But it’s water under the bridge now and node dissection or not, you’d be in the same place regardless of what was found. Additional treatment would be warranted in any case.
Everything about this disease sucks, OK? EVERYTHING from diagnosis to treatments to complications, disappointments and failures. You really learn what you’re made of when suddenly YOU are the cancer patient and not the bystander.
Your current situation is not that unusual at all, as many here know already; it is merely compressed into one long episode right from the start. The good news is that you won’t have years of anxiety wondering if your slowly rising PSA means your cancer is coming back; you’re gonna get after it NOW… You’ll get through this - don’t ever doubt it!
Phil