I don’t consider that selfish at all. You are incredibly caring and it’s understandable that you hope he doesn’t suffer through this time. Grieving the loss of a loved one before they are actually gone must be very painful.

I have known 3 people who were diagnosed with a terminal illness, who cut off communication with most people. They just shut down and did not take calls, go out or accept visitors. It must be very difficult for their daily family member caregivers.

Not selfish at all, you are human and want the misery to stop. That is a normal human reaction to stress, so give yourself some grace. 🫂