We learn as we go. Many of our reactions are of the reflex nature, done without thought. It isn't easy to unlearn them. But you're right. They don't know why they do many things. It's okay to ask, but pointless to chastise. I do all the cooking, but my wife loves to rearrange the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen and pantry items. I cannot find what I need and she doesn't remember where she put things. It's her compulsion. I get upset, but she can't help it. I rearrange things myself when I need to. It isn't easy (but it isn't easy on them either). I'm trying to learn to be less reactive but have a ways to go.