My testosterone is finally returning after prostate cancer treatment and for the past couple months I've been like a horny teenager but I'm imagining this will settle back down. I'm kind of an edge case (no pun intended) because I lost my virginity very young (at 12 to a 13 year-old) and have had sex at least once a week throughout my entire life (in my 60s now) which made prostate cancer treatment extremely difficult because, after four months, I lost the ability to have orgasms (it's back now) but I've also had to come to terms with no longer ever being able to ejaculate again (orgasms will always be "dry") and probably needing at least low dose Viagra forever going forward. I initially thought these things wouldn't be that big a deal but they have bothered me psychologically A LOT more than I thought they would. I plan to have sex until the day I die and can't imagine ever living without it.
However, I always say that "at a certain age, everyone becomes bisexual--if we want sex we pretty much are going to have to buy it" 😃
My husband is not motivated to have sex either and refuses to take Viagra or anything else. He is also taking blood pressure pills. I have discussed with him about other ways to have sex that don't involve penetration but he is not interested.
To answer your question "Any ideas?"
I have always pleasured myself with orgasms except in the last 5 months. Coincidently Testosterone was added to my hrt and I was able to orgasm again. I also added a vasodilator cream and it made it even better. I don't know if my problem is something you experience but I would tell you to enjoy yourself without him even if he does not want to participate.
My testosterone is finally returning after prostate cancer treatment and for the past couple months I've been like a horny teenager but I'm imagining this will settle back down. I'm kind of an edge case (no pun intended) because I lost my virginity very young (at 12 to a 13 year-old) and have had sex at least once a week throughout my entire life (in my 60s now) which made prostate cancer treatment extremely difficult because, after four months, I lost the ability to have orgasms (it's back now) but I've also had to come to terms with no longer ever being able to ejaculate again (orgasms will always be "dry") and probably needing at least low dose Viagra forever going forward. I initially thought these things wouldn't be that big a deal but they have bothered me psychologically A LOT more than I thought they would. I plan to have sex until the day I die and can't imagine ever living without it.
However, I always say that "at a certain age, everyone becomes bisexual--if we want sex we pretty much are going to have to buy it" 😃
I had an older friend, years ago, he's long since "departed", who said that at one point in his life, he was "trysexual" - if it was sexual, he'd try it. 😆
Actually, I’ve been quite upset about this non-existent libido since post menopausal times. I’m now age 66. Used to make a joke about the volleyball scene in the movie, Top Gun, always “doing it” for me. In my younger years, I was extremely active. Now, I consider myself a nun. My biggest concern is losing my husband - good grief.
My cervical dystonia rules my life - makes me exhausted and in pain. Feel drugged up all the time. Have spoken to OB/GYN and other doctors about this. The former says that some just choose to have sec on special occasions or 1x/year.
Difficult to think of sex. It also “irritates” me if I want to just hug my husband, that he goes straight to groping me. (Ironically, I don’t blame the man. I just can’t feel anything). I’m to the point where I’ll just lay naked and say, “do what you want!” Now excuse the candor/sarcasm here. I do and will continue to try various options. Kissing is a marvelous start. Guess I need to find better timing.
I don’t want to take testosterone of estrogen due to my family’s cancer history.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I don’t particularly feel motivated to have sex because my husband won’t take viagra or any similar drug and his sexual capability is pretty much zero ever since he went on cholesterol meds and blood pressure meds.
I think he l theoretically misses sex but I’m not interested as long as his situation remains as it is.
Any ideas?
@alissahe
I'm on meds for BP, AFib, PVCs, PACs, cholesterol and triglycerides. I don't like the side effects of ED meds so I split my 10 mg tadalafil into 4ths and take it every day. From what I understand, it can stay in your system for up to 3 days. That works for me without any side effects. Just because I'm not obsessed with sex like I was half a life ago, doesn't mean I don't want it. I'm ready for and welcome spontaneous play. And if I go limp before mission accomplished, well as they say... there's more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak...lol
Actually, I’ve been quite upset about this non-existent libido since post menopausal times. I’m now age 66. Used to make a joke about the volleyball scene in the movie, Top Gun, always “doing it” for me. In my younger years, I was extremely active. Now, I consider myself a nun. My biggest concern is losing my husband - good grief.
My cervical dystonia rules my life - makes me exhausted and in pain. Feel drugged up all the time. Have spoken to OB/GYN and other doctors about this. The former says that some just choose to have sec on special occasions or 1x/year.
Difficult to think of sex. It also “irritates” me if I want to just hug my husband, that he goes straight to groping me. (Ironically, I don’t blame the man. I just can’t feel anything). I’m to the point where I’ll just lay naked and say, “do what you want!” Now excuse the candor/sarcasm here. I do and will continue to try various options. Kissing is a marvelous start. Guess I need to find better timing.
I don’t want to take testosterone of estrogen due to my family’s cancer history.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
@pmhpesp5
I'm sorry for your plight. Hugging and intimacy are an important part of our lives and do more than just initiate arousal. Sounds like your husband is frustrated and misinterprets your intentions. Have you tried giving him a hj just for his pleasure and then cuddling? Any way to take the edge off could make him less frantic both this time and next. I'm a 73 year old man btw.
Actually, I’ve been quite upset about this non-existent libido since post menopausal times. I’m now age 66. Used to make a joke about the volleyball scene in the movie, Top Gun, always “doing it” for me. In my younger years, I was extremely active. Now, I consider myself a nun. My biggest concern is losing my husband - good grief.
My cervical dystonia rules my life - makes me exhausted and in pain. Feel drugged up all the time. Have spoken to OB/GYN and other doctors about this. The former says that some just choose to have sec on special occasions or 1x/year.
Difficult to think of sex. It also “irritates” me if I want to just hug my husband, that he goes straight to groping me. (Ironically, I don’t blame the man. I just can’t feel anything). I’m to the point where I’ll just lay naked and say, “do what you want!” Now excuse the candor/sarcasm here. I do and will continue to try various options. Kissing is a marvelous start. Guess I need to find better timing.
I don’t want to take testosterone of estrogen due to my family’s cancer history.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
@pmhpesp5
Something in your message makes me sad.
It seems that you love your husband and you want to be tender and intimate with him, but both of you don't really know what to do.
Intimacy at 65 or 70, or with illness, may not be the same as it was at 35. And it seems you may both still be thinking in terms of 35.
There are so many books you might share and talk about. One of them might speak to your needs.
It seems to me that talking is the most needed part, and maybe could lead to some new discoveries. Deep, honest sharing is the most wonderful intimacy, and might lead to new ways of physical connection.
It's not easy, I know. I wish the best to you, and to all of us who need loving connection.
I don’t particularly feel motivated to have sex because my husband won’t take viagra or any similar drug and his sexual capability is pretty much zero ever since he went on cholesterol meds and blood pressure meds.
I think he l theoretically misses sex but I’m not interested as long as his situation remains as it is.
Any ideas?
@pmhpesp5
I'm sorry for your plight. Hugging and intimacy are an important part of our lives and do more than just initiate arousal. Sounds like your husband is frustrated and misinterprets your intentions. Have you tried giving him a hj just for his pleasure and then cuddling? Any way to take the edge off could make him less frantic both this time and next. I'm a 73 year old man btw.
@kjoed53 Thank you for your input. My plan is to ignore what I’m feeling and concentrate on giving pleasure. I get great satisfaction in being the giver and don’t necessarily have to be the receiver, simultaneously. Gotta get out of my own head and focus on maintaining a loving relationship.
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My testosterone is finally returning after prostate cancer treatment and for the past couple months I've been like a horny teenager but I'm imagining this will settle back down. I'm kind of an edge case (no pun intended) because I lost my virginity very young (at 12 to a 13 year-old) and have had sex at least once a week throughout my entire life (in my 60s now) which made prostate cancer treatment extremely difficult because, after four months, I lost the ability to have orgasms (it's back now) but I've also had to come to terms with no longer ever being able to ejaculate again (orgasms will always be "dry") and probably needing at least low dose Viagra forever going forward. I initially thought these things wouldn't be that big a deal but they have bothered me psychologically A LOT more than I thought they would. I plan to have sex until the day I die and can't imagine ever living without it.
However, I always say that "at a certain age, everyone becomes bisexual--if we want sex we pretty much are going to have to buy it" 😃
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9 Reactions72 and 74.
That’s basically been my solution, too. 🤭
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2 ReactionsI had an older friend, years ago, he's long since "departed", who said that at one point in his life, he was "trysexual" - if it was sexual, he'd try it. 😆
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4 ReactionsActually, I’ve been quite upset about this non-existent libido since post menopausal times. I’m now age 66. Used to make a joke about the volleyball scene in the movie, Top Gun, always “doing it” for me. In my younger years, I was extremely active. Now, I consider myself a nun. My biggest concern is losing my husband - good grief.
My cervical dystonia rules my life - makes me exhausted and in pain. Feel drugged up all the time. Have spoken to OB/GYN and other doctors about this. The former says that some just choose to have sec on special occasions or 1x/year.
Difficult to think of sex. It also “irritates” me if I want to just hug my husband, that he goes straight to groping me. (Ironically, I don’t blame the man. I just can’t feel anything). I’m to the point where I’ll just lay naked and say, “do what you want!” Now excuse the candor/sarcasm here. I do and will continue to try various options. Kissing is a marvelous start. Guess I need to find better timing.
I don’t want to take testosterone of estrogen due to my family’s cancer history.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@alissahe
I'm on meds for BP, AFib, PVCs, PACs, cholesterol and triglycerides. I don't like the side effects of ED meds so I split my 10 mg tadalafil into 4ths and take it every day. From what I understand, it can stay in your system for up to 3 days. That works for me without any side effects. Just because I'm not obsessed with sex like I was half a life ago, doesn't mean I don't want it. I'm ready for and welcome spontaneous play. And if I go limp before mission accomplished, well as they say... there's more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak...lol
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@pmhpesp5
I'm sorry for your plight. Hugging and intimacy are an important part of our lives and do more than just initiate arousal. Sounds like your husband is frustrated and misinterprets your intentions. Have you tried giving him a hj just for his pleasure and then cuddling? Any way to take the edge off could make him less frantic both this time and next. I'm a 73 year old man btw.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reaction@pmhpesp5
Something in your message makes me sad.
It seems that you love your husband and you want to be tender and intimate with him, but both of you don't really know what to do.
Intimacy at 65 or 70, or with illness, may not be the same as it was at 35. And it seems you may both still be thinking in terms of 35.
There are so many books you might share and talk about. One of them might speak to your needs.
It seems to me that talking is the most needed part, and maybe could lead to some new discoveries. Deep, honest sharing is the most wonderful intimacy, and might lead to new ways of physical connection.
It's not easy, I know. I wish the best to you, and to all of us who need loving connection.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@alissahe
Is he open to getting testosterone in some form?
@kjoed53 Thank you for your input. My plan is to ignore what I’m feeling and concentrate on giving pleasure. I get great satisfaction in being the giver and don’t necessarily have to be the receiver, simultaneously. Gotta get out of my own head and focus on maintaining a loving relationship.