Well I understand feeling useless in old age. I'm 83 and have lost communication with one son and seldom hear from my grandsons. Then I was diagnosed about a year ago with autism! I lived my whole messed-up life not knowing I was autistic. I've spent the last year re-viewing my life with this new knowledge. Luckily, My health is not too bad. Neuropathy, IBS, recurring skin cancers (minor), arthritis in my hands. I've been depressed and anxious and confused my whole life. The depression has gotten a little better with age but the anxiety is through the roof. I have one friend. I try to stay busy with things around my house and in my shop and I do crossword puzzles and watch videos ( as "distracting" as possible). I am not suicidal but don't fear an easy death. I think the kids blame us elders for all their problems and maybe they got a point.