What creative ways do you cope with grief?

Posted by Miriam, Volunteer Mentor @mir123, Dec 29, 2024

I”m a fan of rituals for grief and mourning. Some can be found within organized religion—like the Jewish custom of lighting a candle for the deceased on the anniversary of their death. And some can be private. My first husband, Robert, has been dead for 29 years. This year I felt the urge to do something special. I bought two helium balloons—one black and one heart-shaped white. Then I let them go and watched them disappear—so quickly—into an azure sky. I can’t say what this “means”—just that it felt right. I think that often ceremony, art, and other expressions can be very helpful in terms of grief. We don’t just have to hold it in or try and get over it. Can anyone share their experiences with this? I’d love to know!

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southtexas1776 | @southtexas1776 | 6 days ago

In reply to @kayraymat "What good is waiting for them? K" + (show)

That's a great question. I have a belief (I am an optimist) that good things are always waiting for me. I have to be awake to see them and have the courage to say yes to them. They may not be what I wanted, but I find they are always what I need. I've learned from grieving experience that I have to move on no matter how difficult. One of the things that drives me is my five daughters. I want to be a good example for them knowing they may face the grieving experience we share. Stay strong.

scad-scared | @scad | 5 days ago

Hello, I’m learning to grieve the loss of my mother because I don’t think I ever did. I stuffed those feelings down. Optimism is good and there is always something positive ahead just being able to get the positive out of every situation is amazing but why is good things always waiting why are they not happening daily for you? I can see having something to look forward to like a vacation or lunch with a friend etc but why just waiting to happen? I wake up daily and I’m blessed to have another day Amen. I try and find a positive in everything daily and it makes me happy but what is hard for me is the fact I cannot ever see my mom again and it breaks my heart. That’s the hard part no matter what lies ahead or is in each day. There is my struggle. My heart has a void that will never be filled and I don’t know how to cope with that even though I’m optimistic.

Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | 5 days ago

In reply to @scad "Hello, I’m learning to grieve the loss of my mother because I don’t think I ever..." + (show)

I know what you mean. It helps for each day to have goodness in it, and be able to find that. As a mom and grandma I feel strongly that my love will continue without me--inside my daughter and grand-daughter after I'm gone. I'm guessing your mom's love is inside you, and might show you some way to happiness. I hope so!

janet7 | @janet7 | 4 days ago

In reply to @scad "Hello, I’m learning to grieve the loss of my mother because I don’t think I ever..." + (show)

I just lost my husband and I still talk to him almost daily. I have his picture in my wallet, by my favorite chair, and in the bedroom. It helps me feel his presence wherever I’m am and then I can talk to him.
This helps me stay connected to our love for one another.

Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | 4 days ago

In reply to @janet7 "I just lost my husband and I still talk to him almost daily. I have his..." + (show)

I'm glad you can feel the love--and the support that brings.

scottbeammeup | @scottbeammeup | 4 days ago

I lean into it when it shows up by listening to extremely depressing music. I put my headphones on, lie on my bed and just listen or sometimes cry. Then I go on with my day.

What's been helpful to me was when someone told me emotions are like the weather and they pass through us and sometimes certain emotional "weather" prevents us from doing certain things. So, today may be "generally happy with a grief cloud passing through from 2-4 PM, followed by gradual clearing" or "a sad day with some happiness breaking through periodically throughout the day."

Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | 4 days ago

In reply to @scottbeammeup "I lean into it when it shows up by listening to extremely depressing music. I put..." + (show)

This makes a lot of sense--thank you!

southtexas1776 | @southtexas1776 | 4 days ago

In my forthcoming podcast (Monday, Jan 20th) Journey from Grief to Healing, I deal with anger, specifically how I dealt with the overwhelming anger I carried on my wife's (Babe) death. Here is the opening part of the podcast where I describe my anger. "Were you angry when your loved one died? I was. I was told that anger is a normal emotion. My brain understood it was normal, but my heart didn't. In those early days of grieving my brain and heart were not speaking to each other. Anger simmered in me like a pot of boiling water. I was angry with God. I was angry with the oncologists, radiologists, hospice workers, and at myself. Anger ate at me the way a hungry dog gnaws on a bone or licks his plate to claim every molecule of food. I was a bubbling, boiling cauldron of anger. My anger stayed with me as Babe was dying and remained with me after I went home from the cemetery." In the podcast I describe how was able to resolve my anger and focus on my healing. I know in retrospeck how anger was preventing me from moving forward.