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Interested in how other caregivers survive

Caregivers | Last Active: Jan 19 11:46am | Replies (130)

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@babbsjoy

@celia16

I am in the same boat. (I have not read all this thread yet, so my experience may be out of place.) My father has lived with us for the four years since my mother died. Has weathered many serious health issues! It is frustrating for him to have so many functional limitations (failing eyesight, mobility, etc). He has not been diagnosed with any form of dementia, however. But his care needs mount, despite his efforts at independence (and the things he still does for himself can be surprising). But my husband and I are at the place where we need to secure some in home help. My father is extremely resistant to the idea, and we tabled it last summer and gave up vacation (for numerous reasons it isn’t a situation where he would be able to go with us at this point, so until last summer we haven’t even tried to get away). But it has gotten to the point where we really need to have some help—for ourselves and for his benefit as well! This was “brought home” to me when I contracted COVID for the first time last fall, but still needed to care for him (meds, food, cleaning, laundry, etc)—double masked and gloved and then back to isolation. Thankfully he did not catch it—but it would be so much better for him if we had had some back up!). It IS expensive! I hope you are able to get everything arranged and it goes smoothly!

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Replies to "@celia16 I am in the same boat. (I have not read all this thread yet, so..."

babbsjoy, since I posted upthread in August, I did obtain in home health care and it has been very stressful as my dad is very resistant to the help. I must exert substantial effort to supervise when the aid comes, as daddy doesn’t want him in the house. He also refuses to allow the aid to assist him with hygiene, showering, shaving, etc, which he needs. The entire family, siblings, grandkids, etc. have told him it must happen, but he is not convinced. So, my mom and I can’t continue. I have contacted multiple facilities and have put him on the waiting list at one facility. I doubt he’ll like the nursing home, but we have no choice.

I’d get at least 4-5 hours a week, if you can and see how that goes. It’s not working out the way we expected. Resistance to care has proven to be the biggest issue with my parents. Both of them.

Good luck with everything. It can be very stressful and exhausting.
I’ll look forward to seeing how things go.