I do mot think you made the wrong decision….there isn’t one! If you went the other route you might have had some other issue which would have you questioning THAT decision.
IMO, you probably should have had PSMA before your surgery, whether it’s standard protocol or not. Six yrs ago I insisted - and paid privately- for an Auxumin PET, which was the best back then. Nothing showed outside the gland so I opted for surgery.
If something was outside, it would have been ADT and radiation all the way. YOU did not screw up, but I think someone else may have been remiss in your diagnostic workup - especially given your age.
As I said in another post, there are still many “good” oncologists out there practicing like it was 1980 - not 2025.