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Son estranged due to controlling spouse
My son & I were always very close. I have two children, he’s the older one. The one that made me a mother & opened up my world to loving unconditionally and so deeply that at times I was completely awe struck. We remained close until he met a particular woman, married her & became completely enmeshed with her family. I’m leaving a lot out here but bottom line, he’s completely controlled by her and her mother. He lives with her parents, it’s very dysfunctional. If you told me this is the person he’d choose, I would have said you’re crazy, it would never happen. It did happen & now they have a daughter, she’s 3.
I am not allowed over their house, my son has cut me out of his life and he’s also estranged from his sister. His life is his wife’s family & he’s turned into a person that gaslight’s, blames my daughter & I for everything under the sun and plays the victim all while jumping through hoops of fire for his wife and her family. I’ve tried ever which way to approach this. I sought therapy for healthy guidance and nothing changes. I miss the person I used to know as my son. Does anyone have any experience/thoughts about how to remain in a healthy frame of mind as I navigate through life without my son or granddaughter (and they just live 10 minutes down the road from me)
Thank you 🙏
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Sorry to hear about this I'm in same situation only difference is my son lives right nextdoor to me and his father is dying of stage 4 colorectal cancer and he doesn't come see his father!His girlfriend moved in and controls everything he does.She is also lying about being pregnant. She blames everyone else for everything.i miss him dearly.hope ur situation gets better
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4 ReactionsI am going through the same. My son has been married for 5 years to my DIL and it has been chaos. She finally succeeded in alienating him from our side of the family. It has been six months since we had any contact with them and my grandbabies. I am heartbroken.
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3 ReactionsMy husband and I are going through the same thing. It is absolutely heartbreaking and I feel it both physically and emotionally. As we walk through this, we lean on our faith, researching the topic, reaching out to other family and friends, and search persistently for a way to fill the void. I've come to realize a renewed and profound gratitude for those that are holding us up. Additionally, what I'm learning is that I feel OK for awhile and think that I'm moving on, but then an event or communication drags it all back and I'm clawing my way back to some kind of "new normal". I'm wondering if there is a group of people like us that meet in person?
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2 ReactionsI have been facing trying my best to have a loving relationship with my son, his wife and my grand children 8 and 10.
Very long story/ struggle. D.I.L. should be the adult narcissist poster child. That D.I.L masqueraded as a Christian is especially challenging. However trusting The Lord according to Roman's 8:28 plus other scriptures is vital. D.I.L. isolated herself and the children from my son and our small clan. It's turned into a tangle of court and D.S.S./ lawyers $$$ ordeal. Thakfully my son is now free to connect with us in person and the phone.
Regarding a support group? PI much prefer face to face connection with other people; in the same room = NOT ZOOM. However I very much appreciate the sharing that's happening here.
Thank you!🙏💗