These are all good points. I have discovered as I have gotten older that there is such a huge difference between loneliness and solitude. A bad marriage can spurn profound loneliness, but make one yearn for solitude. As the years have gone by, I do appreciate my ability to find quiet time for my mind to shed the stressors of the marriage gone bad.
I sometimes imagine that this is the “peace” that divorce may yield on the other side, but getting there is a huge step.
My children are grown and on their own and are fully aware of the long-standing issues between my wife and I.
I know they would understand and be happy that we are both pursuing a happier existence apart from each other. It’s not their job to be emotional referees. Nonetheless, it is somewhat traumatic to blow up the family model and architect a whole new dynamic moving forward.