Peripheral Neuropathy & Conversation Fatigue?

Posted by Ray Kemble @ray666, Dec 2 11:39am

Hello, all!

The other day, a friend accused me of talking too much about ‘medical stuff.’ (In my defense, I have not only peripheral neuropathy but also the residue of a bad sepsis infection.) My friend smiled as she ‘accused’ me, and I tried not to let what she said get to me. But it did. It bothered me the rest of that day and has trickled into my journal writing every day since.

I boast of not being one who goes on and on about his ‘medical stuff,’ even saying how much it wearies me when someone else goes on and on about their ‘medical stuff.’ (I say this, and yet I recognize––and have written so in my journal––that when people undergoing a common experience have a chance to talk, there is a measure of satisfaction in talking about that shared experience.) I don’t want to be someone who goes on and on (or shows impatience to others who do) because I don’t want to ‘bore’ my friends.

Some might say (and rightly so), ‘A true friend will never be bored!’ I agree.

But in my mind, there is a point where enough becomes enough.

Some months ago, I posted a piece I called ‘One-Trick Pony.’ I have never wanted to become a one-trick pony: a fellow who talks so much about what ails him that he BECOMES what ails him in the privacy of his friends’ minds.

I have peripheral neuropathy, yes––but I am NOT my peripheral neuropathy. I have a few leftover symptoms of a sepsis infection, yes––but I am NOT my leftover symptoms. I am a bundle of many things besides my diseases. (Oh please, I hope I am! :-))

Have others of you wrestled with this issue: Needing to find okay times to talk about what hurts you, but also never wanting to overdo it?

Ray (@ray666)

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Neuropathy Support Group.

bjk3 | @bjk3 | Dec 9 12:10pm

In reply to @ray666 "As we used to say, that's the false belief that you are the center of everyone..." + (show)

Amen to that! 😂

NJ Ed | @njed | Dec 9 2:11pm

In reply to @dbeshears1 "Ed - I was at my husband’s Pickleball Club holiday party this weekend and seated by..." + (show)

Debbie - I can personally guarantee you that Mayo can't fix all things....I am proof of that. When I went to Mayo in Feb 2020, I did see two neurologists in MN who told me what I have but no idea why. These two neuro docs specialize in PN. Of course, that is my case, and not all cases are the same. I went through a number of tests that 3 other teaching hospitals never did. You are right, not all illnesses have a reason, answer or a cure. We with PN know that well.

chawk | @chawk | Dec 9 2:50pm

hi ray--A bit of comic relief relieves me and most everyone else, If I find myself launching the latest episode of a PN saga, I might stop abruptly, tilt up my chain, pass the back of my right hand ever so gently across my forehead, and say, in the style of a distressed Southern belle, "But please, people: Let's don't talk about me..." As I would never be mistaken for a distressed Southern belle, this draws some laughs while gently conveying the notion that I'm feeling like hell. It doesn't afford the satisfaction of reciting a full-blown resume but it beat suffering in silence.

Ray Kemble | @ray666 | 6 days ago

In reply to @chawk "hi ray--A bit of comic relief relieves me and most everyone else, If I find myself..." + (show)

Hi, chawk (@chawk)

As poet Wendell Berry says,

Our lives, half gone,
stay full of laughter.

I get twice the laugh out of those lines. MY life "half gone"? Really? Only half? That must mean I'm going to live to 160. (I'd better alert Medicare.)

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

artemis1886 | @artemis1886 | 2 days ago

I started loosing my friends in 2002 when I had mrsa bacterial spinal meningitis. I had a Picc line for three months and pills for another three months. Lost short term memory and could not remember co workers during this time diagnosed with autoimmune severe axonal sensorimotor peripheral polyneuropathy and small fiber neuropathy. For a long time people would approach me at work and I did not know them it was very awkward since they knew so much about me. I lost so many friends because I can’t walk a mall or go shopping 2010 three left hip surgeries hip fractured actebulum and hip dislocated all on the left side. So I can’t do stairs can’t get up a curb people just fell away. I did not talk about what I was going through mentally and it took me a year and a half to re be able to walk after the fracture. Now both my hips are so inflamed I get injections every six months. This has severely affected my back. I used to love to swim but I have a hard time way too much metal on the left side so it sinks. My best friend died three years ago of MS. We both had so much in common to me neuropathy has a lot of the symptoms of MS. Since she passed away in a car wreck really have not made any new friends. Recently fell broke three ribs and fractured my back and it’s sliding in and out of place. Going to see my neurosurgeon for mris to see what’s happening. I am only 62 the doctor talked to me about becoming wheelchair bound. I am not ready for this. My drivers license has been taken away since I can’t feel my feet. It’s hard to go anywhere when you can’t drive.