@oregongirl, The only reason I would take him would be that you have pre-arranged with the doctor to be your advocate. She needs to be willing to basically shut his mouth for him. That patronizing butting-in that he did was for the birds.
She would need to be willing to explain to him (in some form, I’m not trying to put the words in her mouth) that this IS real, and his failure to support you is doing damage, not good. She could also SPECIFY what kinds of acts, behavior, and attitude from him and his wife would be helpful. And specifically, which ones that they do that are HARMFUL. Like DIL saying, “Are you sure this is not all in your head?”

This will not have been the first time she’s run across this. Tell her all about it on your next visit, see if she would be willing to schedule a follow up where your son’s presence is requested. Be brave, and ask for help, my dear. Or I will need to come to Texas and jerk a knot in his tail. (Just kidding. But you know.)
Xx

I understand I just kept to self and knew what I had to do.Everyone is different so just you take care of yourself.

Thanks lynneb

I am my own best friend along with my two weeks yorkies