I agree on all counts. Kidney cancer had me in a dark place for a long time because I was told if it came back it would be mostly untreatable, so I waited for the other shoe to drop. But, in the end, I had a spare and my life didn't have to change hardly at all outside of not being able to take certain types of medications or eat too much of certain foods.

This one is different, my life changes, my abilities as a man change (or could be broken), my ability to live life without diapers change (or could be broken) - and that last one is a biggie for me and I know it is for a lot of guys.

Reading study after study the one concern of the vast majority of men is the quality of life when they have PC, it's about 80% if I recall correctly. They can deal with the loss of the prostate itself, but the after effects are why they chase every possible alternative. And, most men also agreed that ED, while horrible, was at least somewhat manageable, it's the incontinence that concerned them the most. And it's these factors, the QOL changes, that have driven every new procedure and technology related to treating PC - again, from reading scientific journals on the topic.

And, I'm feeling the same. Yesterday broke me, I'm still broken from it. I know what's going on but it's not a light switch to turn off. I'm not a "dreader" by nature, but this I dread. I might wake up and everything is A-OK, but it's the "or I might not" that I obsess over.

I'm doing what I am able to control. I'm talking to my first shrink tomorrow, my wife is very supportive, I just need to find tools to cope because this cannot continue in this state.