How to stop hurting after 14 years? Drunk driver killed my sister

Juanita,
I'm so sorry about your sister's death! How terrible! However, remember that your sister has been up in Heaven for a wonderful 14 years! I know you miss her but you will eventually join her someday. (God makes the decision when.) Try and enjoy your life like your sister would want for you.

Also, it may be hard but think about the guilty feeling that the drunk driver has had to live with all these years; knowing what he did. That can't be pleasant for that person.

Tell God how you are feeling and ask for his help. He will help you get over this feeling. I will say a prayer for you also.
PML

I’m very sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through all these years, it’s truly heartbreaking and finding the right things to say is not easy. As an older woman I’ve experienced much loss but it’s a normal thing to go through in the cycle of life. When something happens that robs you of those you love it’s very painful and difficult to accept because it should never have happened, unfortunately these things do happen leaving so many people with broken lives. I experienced this with my parents who were survivors of a war that robbed them of all their loved ones young and old, somehow they found the strength to carry on and rebuild their lives again. They had many struggles to deal with but they lived good lives and enjoyed all that life had to offer, they did this in memory of those who didn’t have the chance to do so. I believe that your sister would want you to enjoy the best things that life has to offer and not hurt anymore, she will always be near you in spirit forever.

Say - how lucky I am to have known somebody that saying goodbye to was so damn awful!

@juanitashiflet, I wanted to add my welcome to you. I'm glad you found Mayo Clinic Connect. Sudden and tragic loss like yours is so hard. The hurt runs so deep as thoughts inevitably focus on the potential of the life unnecessarily interrupted. You think about everything your sister had ahead of her, the plans you had together, the celebrations you expected to share...

Even after 14 years, the pain persists. During this holiday season, you might find this related discussion helpful:
- Grief in Times of Celebration: The Empty Spot
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/grief-in-times-of-celebration-the-empty-spot/
.
What would you like us to know about your sister? What memory helps you remember her smile?