Oh my goodness, you are the sweetest person taking on responsibility of caring for your mother-in-law. It becomes a labor of love and not everyone is cut out to be so dedicated and loving. 💖

When it comes time for hospice, there’s an initial consultation and talks with the family. Everyone needs to be onboard and respect the decisions that your MIL wants for her care. So I hope her daughter and granddaughters will try to understand if or when it comes necessary for Hospice to be set up…either at home or a nursing facility.
My mother had made me promise to never put her in a nursing home. I think she was reflecting on when her mom was in a home in the 1960s. It was abysmal and scared it would happen to her. When mom was 88 she developed inoperable renal cancer and I took care of her in our home for months. Took a leave of absence from work to do this. But her health declined to where she was using a walker and a huge fall risk! I wasn’t physically able to move or lift her anymore. So the inevitable happened. But we found a really nice place and for a few months she was actually felt happy and safe so I didn’t need to be there 24/7. However, when it was clear that she was in rapid decline, I spent about 20+hours a day (and slept) at the nursing home with her, running back to my house to grab a shower and leave notes for my husband and daughter. So I was there when she passed away early in the morning…a week before Christmas. While it was very hard on all of us to be gone so much, I wouldn’t have traded the experience for anything. It’s a gift we can give our loved ones.
So thank you for being such a loving daughter in law and I hope the rest of her family will be as understanding and caring. I know this will be a challenging holiday time for you and your family. But do the best you can to create some memories together.
Will you please keep in touch?