I'm so thankful that I found this forum. I have been looking at other forums/websites for some practical experience, knowledge, and tips from other caregivers, but couldn't find one that discusses "real life" issues and how people are dealing with this very difficult area. I can relate to alot of the comments/stories, but have found it interesting how others have similar but yet different manifestations of loved ones in the different stages of Dementia/Alzheimers. My wife of 43 years, began showing signs of memory loss approximately 12 years ago...she is now 72. It has been a very slow progression, but the last two years, things have definitely changed. Her bathroom issues started about a year ago, but now we are having some of the same things happening that others have described, with incontinence. She wears adult diapers all of the time now, due to the. . inability to sometimes not know when to go to the bathroom. We are attempting to get my wife on a bathroom schedule, but not always successful. Trying not to be too graphic, but she doesn't know how to clean herself, when she does make it to the toilet, so I now have to wipe her, when she lets me, but the diapers kinda do the wiping. It sounds like from other posts, that alot of caregivers are dealing with the same thing, although some have it ,"much worse", which I'm sorry to hear. We can no longer go on any extended car trips, for fear that if she did have an accident, I wouldn't be able to get in a "women's bathroom", to help her. I have learned quite a bit from others, so thank you for all of your experiences. We also, have a healthcare lady for approximately 4 days per week, which is a big help, but my wife will not allow her to change her diapers or give her showers, ( which I now have to physically get into the shower to make sure my wife gets clean)....as I'm sure others have experienced that she does not want to get a shower.
My wife has begun the constant talking, using correct words, but totally unrelated, and this has started to be a struggle for me. Her neurologist did prescribe Seroquel several months ago to try and help with morning shaking, but the biggest positive is that it does cause her to sleep. We started on 25mg, and sometimes that helps, but not always. I now use 50mg, and most of the time it does help. Sleep comes and lasts for up to 8 hours or more.
I don't like to use medications, (which I would imagine, most don't like to do), but, as we know, we are treating symptoms, not necessarily trying to cure anything. The sleep/quiet times are welcome after several hours of nonstop incoherent talking/asking questions.
Our family did consider a Memory Care several months ago, when the incontinence began, but I decided it wasn't quite time and are trying to keep her at home for now. Sorry to be so lengthy, but I will certainly be open to suggestions and look forward to reading what others are doing. Praying for patience, strength, and wisdom.