I admire you for finding peace and love. I'm feeling the opposite unfortunately towards the surgeon. I had minimally invasive decompression March 1st 2024 and all seemed well after having stenosis for 6 years I could finally walk again and not have pain for hours at night but after 4 months it came back and it's still here and he just tells me I need another surgery. So I don't know what to do I certainly don't want to have the surgery with him, although who knows what any other surgeon would do to me. He said the next thing would be fusion which I have read very bad things about and I afraid of since I have osteoporosis. So my choices are curtailing my activities and or taking oxycodone which thankfully a pain management doctor gave me he would not give it to me and his nurse practitioner is the least compassionate person you can find. Why do people like that go into healthcare? Anyway I'm just ventilating I don't get much sleep because the pain is at night. So he said the pain now is because there's no disc left between l4 and 5 and I don't know if the surgery made that worse and if so there's nothing I can do about it except have a fusion. Sorry for my rambling.