Any Input is appreciated

Posted by urfriend @urfriend, 1 day ago

I am having trouble knowing where to start. I feel there’s too much “back story” to try and explain how I got to this point (which I imagine is common among most of us). Maybe I’ll try writing chronologically backwards in hopes it makes it easier? Starting with a semi- generalized question regarding my current need?

My biggest need at the present time that would improve a plethora of problems I have to take action on ASAP is to have someone—whether it be a lay person, a professional, or any person who has a desire and empathy to help me— help me to plan out my days by helping me to prioritize what to do. What tasks I need to complete with not only with just basic daily functioning but also with how to prioritize all the critical to-dos I need to take action on before various situations become worse (bills overdue, finding employment, fixing my bank accounts/credit reports and more because someone used my identity, finding a cheaper place to live, making medical appointments to all the specialists I have referrals to, finding a new decent psychiatrist to change my medications, cleaning every single room in my house, these are probably not even tasks that are most important. All I know is I have about 30 tasks that need to be done or they will result in more negative consequences. I don’t even know what I just wrote because my mind is on overload.

I have anxiety, depression, PTSD, and am grieving several family members deaths on top of that. There’s not enough room to list the circumstances that led to this emotional/cognitive/physical state Im in. I’ve undergone numerous traumas throughout my life and I just finished caretaking for my mother until she died who was abusive to me. On and on and on with circumstances that resulted in me breaking down and now I cannot THINK and I cry all the time and I have pressing problems that I need to figure out and I need someone to help me plan out my days so I know how to tackle the immense to-do lists of important tasks that swirl in my mind. I need to keep a roof over my me and my daughters head.

I am already doing things to help me that either I’ve been doing for a while or that people have suggested. I already have 2 counselors - one spiritual and one cognitive psychoanalytic, I go to a support group, I go to a Bible study, I go to church, I excercise, I take medications for mental health, I take vitamens, I read the Bible, I pray at least 10 times a day, I try to be a good friend, I call crisis hotlines, I find people to pray for me, I pray for other people, I do nice things for other people, I look for resources on the internet, I know I’m not going to remember everything I do, oh ya I journal, I meditate, and the thing I do to try and help myself that I’m most disappointed about is that I tell everyone who knows me or asks me if I’m doing ok how I’m doing and seek out people I think might be able to help me but no one offers to help me with the things I need most. I tell people what I problems I have. I’ve told my friends I’ve told my church. I look for help and pray and I need so much help. I can’t even list all my circumstances here that I need to fix. I feel like the only way people would really care or understand that I needed help would be if it was “too late”. I’m not going to kill myself I need to stick around for my daughter, but that’s how I feel. That if I gave up and ended my life, then that’s when people would say, “oh I guess she really did need help”

Lately I’ve been looking online for executive functioning coaches (too expensive), any life coach that would know how to go through all my impending and overdue tasks with me and know how to prioritize them according to possible negative consequence, and just tell me step by step even to remember to brush my teeth. That’s how low my cognitive skills have gotten. I am an educated person with a Masters Degree and used to help people in jams like mine as a profession, but part of my brain has shut down now and I can’t think. I’ve had too many traumas and my mind said “enough is enough”.
Like I said, yes I have mental health therapists, Christian advisors, and a psychiatrist, blah blah blah, but what I really need is someone to help me schedule my day to day and knock out the mess of things I have to get done. Because if I don’t figure all this out, who knows? Could I end up homeless? Me and my daughter? I can’t beleive the position I’ve gotten into. I’ve asked so many people and places for help but it doesn’t happen. And I don’t know if I wasted a zillion hours just writing this whole mess. If you have any input on how I can get help, it would be much appreciated.
Dear Father, please let someone read this post and understand what I need and soften their hearts to help me in a way you see most fitting. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name, Amen

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

I recently purchased a small dry erase board bulletin board. Walmart sells them for $5. Every day I write 5 goals for myself. These are small goals - do laundry, exercise, etc. As soon as I accomplish one goal, I erase it. This keeps me motivated to keep working on stuff every day. It keeps the momentum going. If I don't get the task completed, I carry it over to the next day.

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Can you make a to do list with the most important things listed first? Is there any way you can caught back on your activities so you can focus more on you? I have a calendar- wall- where I write important things. Doctor appts haircuts etc. I stopped using the calendar on my phone. I have a budget written on paper. For now my budget is done through 2025 but is subject to change. Can you get any assistance such as free food- food banks etc. Is there someway you can get help with your finances or financial education? Is there anything you can sell aka personal belongings perhaps you no longer need?

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@urfriend
I can totally relate with where you are and I am in a similar situation. I am a single parent of a 15 year old son with no family. My family was abusive/neglectful. It’s me and God plus my son and pets. I am dealing with disability and lost my job last year. I am also a masters degree professional with over 30 years experience helping others professionally. My brain shut down last year and I am dealing with major depression for the first time in my life which worsened with my job loss and health problems. My to do lists are out of control and don’t know where to start some days. I do try to pick 3 things per day that are a must do and 3 things I would like to do. It is important to keep things simple once you prioritize the most important tasks.

I am willing to help be a moral support and encourager for you as we are struggling with very similar things. I am a good life coach for others and working in doing the same for myself.

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@dlydailyhope

@urfriend
I can totally relate with where you are and I am in a similar situation. I am a single parent of a 15 year old son with no family. My family was abusive/neglectful. It’s me and God plus my son and pets. I am dealing with disability and lost my job last year. I am also a masters degree professional with over 30 years experience helping others professionally. My brain shut down last year and I am dealing with major depression for the first time in my life which worsened with my job loss and health problems. My to do lists are out of control and don’t know where to start some days. I do try to pick 3 things per day that are a must do and 3 things I would like to do. It is important to keep things simple once you prioritize the most important tasks.

I am willing to help be a moral support and encourager for you as we are struggling with very similar things. I am a good life coach for others and working in doing the same for myself.

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@dlydailyhope
I am grateful for your response. Thank you. It is comforting to know you have so many similarities to me; thus, are better able to “get it”.
I would very much like to have you as a moral support and encourager and possibly I can be one for you too? Would you feel comfortable texting my phone instead or chatting? Let me know.

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@kb2014

Can you make a to do list with the most important things listed first? Is there any way you can caught back on your activities so you can focus more on you? I have a calendar- wall- where I write important things. Doctor appts haircuts etc. I stopped using the calendar on my phone. I have a budget written on paper. For now my budget is done through 2025 but is subject to change. Can you get any assistance such as free food- food banks etc. Is there someway you can get help with your finances or financial education? Is there anything you can sell aka personal belongings perhaps you no longer need?

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I appreciate you responding to my post. That was kind of you. A large part of my problem is that I get overwhelmed jus making a to-do list, I get confused what to list, because everything seems of equal relevance and then I start getting anxiety because I know there are so many things to do that I’m forgetting. I think I am very deficient in articulating what my problem is that I need help with. Which makes me so upset with myself.

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@miloandlisa

I recently purchased a small dry erase board bulletin board. Walmart sells them for $5. Every day I write 5 goals for myself. These are small goals - do laundry, exercise, etc. As soon as I accomplish one goal, I erase it. This keeps me motivated to keep working on stuff every day. It keeps the momentum going. If I don't get the task completed, I carry it over to the next day.

Jump to this post

@miloandlisa
Thank you so much for your input. I feel like some of my brain’s neurons have deteriorated because everyone’s advice seems logical and doable yet I feel inept like my critical thinking skills I once had got flushed down the toilet. I do know I need a med change. And, I need to find a new doctor asap. Mine is not good. I’m on psychiatric meds but they aren’t doing it for me and my doctor won’t change them around anymore. I need to at least attempt to try something new. Anyhow, thank you for responding.

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@urfriend

@dlydailyhope
I am grateful for your response. Thank you. It is comforting to know you have so many similarities to me; thus, are better able to “get it”.
I would very much like to have you as a moral support and encourager and possibly I can be one for you too? Would you feel comfortable texting my phone instead or chatting? Let me know.

Jump to this post

P.S. I didn’t realize this site has private messages too. If you’d prefer that.

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