Preparing to Age in Place

I have had both knees and both hips replaced as well as active Rheumatoid Arthritis for 25 years. Many years of pain and disability. I am grateful to have had good medical care and the chance to catch up and experience, with so much less pain, the events that I missed out on before. I absolutely want those extra years!

I thought it was very interesting that a physician who deals with arthritis issues and pain was contemplating such a choice, which isn't really a choice. We play the hand we are dealt. When do we stop replacing parts and simply accept the deterioration of the quality of life as joints wear out? That is a question many of us will likely face.

Theresa-
This is such an encouraging post!
I've seen several persons' lives improved greatly by knee and hip replacements.
And the technology is improving.

Hello MarilynB: I am 88, so fit into this group, I think. I had 2 strokes about 18 months ago and have mostly recovered, except my right foot, leg, and hand are not quite normal. Therefore, I no longer drive. I live in a rural area in my own home alone, with help from a daughter and hubby who live 7 miles away. I have the usual helps here: chair in the shower, arms beside the commode, a bedside commode in the bedroom, a walker nearby if needed and a cane. I have a couple who help with anything I can't do: floors, windows, flower beds, dusting, etc. for $25 an hour each; not bad! Since I don't drive, my daughter takes me everywhere: groceries, library, Church (sometimes), etc. Aging in place is lonely sometimes but I prefer home to anywhere else! My best to you!

And my best to you. I am truly sorry you do not have full mobility due to your strokes. Since I first wrote I have turned 90. It is a little frightening because I know there are not many years left. So far, though, I am good. I can still drive. In fact several weeks ago my friend asked me to take her to the E.R. It was not close by. But I got her there. By the time she was discharged it was dark. Not my favorite time for driving. However I am proud to say I drove this ess-shaped freeway in the dark and got us both home safely. I have a cleaner every three weeks. I pay her $100.00 and she does everything. Probably takes her 3-4 hours. I do everything else for myself. Just changed out my summer sheets for my flannel winter sheets and blankets. I found it a little hard to carry everything into the garage for storage but I managed. I guess that is what I do. I manage. I still use a cane when I am out because I am afraid of falling, even though the surgeon who did my hip replacement scolds me for this and says I can walk fine. And yes, I can walk fine, but I am still frightened of falling. I agree that staying in my own home alone is lonely. Unlike you I have no support system. But that's the way it is.

Thank you for your response! Yes, without my daughter and her husband, I doubt I'd even be alive. I envy you that you can still drive; I voluntarily gave it up. My right side just isn't reliable and that's the side you use driving! It really forces me to stay home most of the time; I am about 20 miles from town; 9 miles from a small one. But I love it here! I am in the Ozarks in a log home, which I had always wanted. I do my own house work, except for floors and dusting; do most cooking: a lot of sandwiches, soup, etc. My daughter sends me leftovers also. Take care and be careful driving!

@dorisjeanne I'm sorry about the challenges you've been facing and dealing with since your 2 strokes. But I'm glad that you seem to have a great support system that's so helpful to you. And I definitely agree with you: Aging in place IS lonely sometimes...and I, too, prefer home to anywhere else.

Doris and Marilyn-
You are both so inspiring!
This morning I was finishing my little kitchen routine by wiping off the kitchen counter and I noticed it was time to make an attitude change. Having a clean counter is a good thing, and I can appreciate many things about it: the nice counter top that is easy to clean, the soft dish cloth and the clean water, and the fact that I can see and do this little task to start the day. Without grumping to myself!
If I live to be 85 or 90, my energies will likely be less and I probably won't be doing all the enjoyable crafts and studies I can currently do.
So it could be good preparation to be learning to appreciate basic self-care tasks like wiping the kitchen counter. They will be "bigger" parts of my life some day.

I want to introduce a topic - carefully - and ask that you read - carefully - before responding.

My question is, in light of the recent election and approaching political changes, what are your feelings and thoughts about how you will age in place in 2025 and years to come?

This is not a forum for political discussions, but it is appropriate to discuss the many ways we face the certainty of age and the uncertainty of things to come, focusing on what we can do to improve our chances of having a good life.

Here’s a response from me:
Over the last two weeks I’ve been looking deeply into my life interests and purposes.
This is not something I decided to do off hand. It feels like powerful turning of my life in response to the storm I felt blowing around me.
At 75 I’m in good shape, and may be good for another 5 or 10 years.
My deepest loves in life are simple: music, my wife and our dogs.
These are things I can do something about.
And I find I’m approaching them with the deepest commitment of my life.
These are the things that tell me what I am here for.
As long as possible I will give my energies to them.
These are the things that matter to me and I want to make the most of them in whatever circumstances allow. I want to do better than I have ever done before.

Trying to make a better question:
Some things in the future may be exactly as we expected.
Other things may be different beyond our ability to expect.
In preparing to age in place (or to age anywhere), what can we do to nurture our emotional and intellectual resilience?
What have folks done that has "paid off" later?
Can we gain anything by sharing on this difficult question?