1. < Depression & Anxiety

Therapist considering discharging me

Posted by junkartist @junkartist, Nov 14 3:23pm

Last session, my therapist said she and her superiors (not the word she used) are considering discharging me (from therapy of sessions once or twice a month.) Additionally, she is supposed to fill out the form of how I am on a never to every day scale (very much like 1 to 10). Takes about 10-15 minutes of the hour.

At last session, she then asked me what I needed. When the session was over, she said we will keep going until whatever the group is come to a decision.

I'm doing okay, but my moods are up and down and sometimes unpredictable. The therapist says she is worried about me isolating. I am retired and 72 years old. and life has changed. I'm doing what I always wanted to do, which is writing more and art.

I've decided that I will "discharge" myself instead of waiting on the decisions of people I don't know and without knowing what the criteria is. At first, I cried a lot, but felt better after a few days.

The therapist has helped me a lot and I will miss her. Still, I am hurt.
Not quite sure of the direction I'll take. I still have a doctor who prescribes my medicine every two months.

Just needed to talk.

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frouke | @frouke | Nov 17 6:53pm
In reply to @frouke "Kndaustin71, I’m sorry but I think my last post was in response to your post, I..." + (show)
@frouke

Kndaustin71, I’m sorry but I think my last post was in response to your post, I directed my comments to someone else named kdalda75, my apologies, it’s been a long day and very emotional, thanks 🙏

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One thing more otherwise I will have to write a book lol, just for the record, my dear Mom and Dad passed away many years ago and they were truly my biggest supporters, the punishment my father exacted on my abusive sibling was harsh and I had a very difficult time to cope with this, it was so long ago and life was very different, I miss them every day.

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kdalda75 | @kndaustin71 | Nov 17 6:54pm
In reply to @frouke "Kdalda75, I just finished reading your post and felt a need to share my thoughts with..." + (show)
@frouke

Kdalda75, I just finished reading your post and felt a need to share my thoughts with you on what you said…I’m 73 years old and have learned a few things about life and people, to begin with I decided to share my recent experience with others here because I knew the feedback would be varied but also honest, I prepared myself for this and I even responded to it with honesty. I too am fed up with the way people behave today and senior citizens are sometimes the hardest hit with this situation. I’m not afraid to fight back for what’s my right to say and I have in no way shied away from this situation…in fact I’m just not ready to do anything at this point in time, I have mentioned several times that this is not my finest moment, I retreated for my own protection and I will wait to see if anything else comes out of this matter. I hope in the meantime that I can fortify myself for whatever may happen. I’m a survivor and not a victim, sometimes you have to be patient and wait, my instincts tell me that the psychiatrist who is well into his 70’s, knows what he can get away with, he might be supportive to my family but I don’t think he’s willing to jeopardize his career and credibility for this issue, thanks for your input.

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Then we are not that far apart in age! I wonder if it is reasonable to begin having feelings such as these once one starts to enter the winter of their lives. I think it is more so than we think as most people probably don't openly speak about it. I do share some of my feelings with my very close friends most of whom feel the same way. I have seen a psychiatrist who was one of the best I've ever encountered.....he was a "talking Psychiatrist." Gave you a full hour of therapy and did not simply write a prescription! I simply don't have the want to or the desire to rehash the past.....I do enough of that on my own (and trying to stop)! What's done is done, can't be changed. Far better to use your energy in the here and now and do things that make you and only you happy. Of course that's easier said than done. I cannot share in the anguish you must feel, mine is of a different kind. My deepest sympathy for what you went through.....I am so sorry!

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Mentor
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | Nov 18 9:44am

@junkartist you are a courageous soul to be moving forward with your art and writing. It has been a minute (35 years) since this happened, but I remember how I felt. I had been in intense therapy for a few years and my therapist said they were discharging me. It felt like a betrayal at first, then it just felt like a someone said “I don’t want to be your friend anymore”. I did process it through and figure out that it meant I was strong enough to go into the fray without that support. I also decided I was good and if I ever wasn’t good, I could always find therapy again.
Let yourself feel whatever you feel about this, going out on your own is always scary, but you are strong in your thoughts and on a path you enjoy.
I am glad you have a path for your medication, do you feel comfortable about your decision to terminate? Are you comfortable asking for a referral back to therapy if you need it in the future?

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1 reply
junkartist | @junkartist | Nov 18 2:35pm
In reply to @auntieoakley "@junkartist you are a courageous soul to be moving forward with your art and writing. It..." + (show)
@auntieoakley

@junkartist you are a courageous soul to be moving forward with your art and writing. It has been a minute (35 years) since this happened, but I remember how I felt. I had been in intense therapy for a few years and my therapist said they were discharging me. It felt like a betrayal at first, then it just felt like a someone said “I don’t want to be your friend anymore”. I did process it through and figure out that it meant I was strong enough to go into the fray without that support. I also decided I was good and if I ever wasn’t good, I could always find therapy again.
Let yourself feel whatever you feel about this, going out on your own is always scary, but you are strong in your thoughts and on a path you enjoy.
I am glad you have a path for your medication, do you feel comfortable about your decision to terminate? Are you comfortable asking for a referral back to therapy if you need it in the future?

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Thank you for your insight. I am feeling better after a week since I had the conversation I had with my therapist. I will have another session with my therapist in a week. I have some questions for her and a few clarifications. She had said that it was her superiors who were suggesting this halt to my therapy from her. I want to know the criteria. I don't want to wait for the verdict if I don't know what it is about.
I want to let the therapist that I really like her and I have learned a lot from her. I want her to understand that I am changing, growing, and I am evaluating groups to be a part of, but not rejecting them just because "someone laughs at me." I have groups I attend, but I am wary of getting back into board and administrative activities reminiscent of some of the non-profit organizations I have been involved in. I have close friends and long range friends that support me.
Part of what hurts is that I have lost two of the professionals (in other areas) that I have lost and two relatives that don[t talk to me anymore.
Thank you for the thoughts that I am strong enough to last and courageous for setting my new path.

Thank you,
Cheryl

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junkartist | @junkartist | Nov 18 3:29pm
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@junkartist I also live in a very small community. Your description of the discharge conversation you've..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@junkartist I also live in a very small community. Your description of the discharge conversation you've had with your therapist is and should be a part of every therapy practice. The information you have posted here is broad enough that I doubt your therapist or anyone in your community will connect your posts with your therapist. I have heard about similar conversations in my community and honestly unless the person tells me who the therapist is I would not know.

Discussing a plan to discharge a patient when they are doing significantly better than when they first came in is a reasonable conversation. You have let your therapist know that you do not feel ready to be discharged and so your therapist plans to discuss this with her supervisor. If you were my family member I'd suggest that you talk to your therapist about seeing her on a less frequent basis such as every other week or once a month. In that way you can put to practice what you've learned in your sessions and report back to your therapist on how you are feeling about yourself and these less often visits. This is a very good way for you to figure out, for yourself, what you would like to do.

What do you think about my suggestions? When do you next see your therapist?

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I was writing a post about my reaction and suggestions to people who were focusing on trauma and abuse. Halfway through, my screen flipped over to do you want an appointment?" I don't know if this was a trick of the computer or if it was taken off. Can you help me? I wouldn't have written anything I considered harmful and I didn't want to send my post halfway though. I couldn't find it when I went back to the page.
@junkartist Cheryl F

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1 reply
Mentor
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | Nov 19 9:03am
In reply to @junkartist "I was writing a post about my reaction and suggestions to people who were focusing on..." + (show)
@junkartist

I was writing a post about my reaction and suggestions to people who were focusing on trauma and abuse. Halfway through, my screen flipped over to do you want an appointment?" I don't know if this was a trick of the computer or if it was taken off. Can you help me? I wouldn't have written anything I considered harmful and I didn't want to send my post halfway though. I couldn't find it when I went back to the page.
@junkartist Cheryl F

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I have bumped my tablet or computer and have this happen. It won’t submit your comment, but it could disappear it.😂 I have lost them when I had written a nice response and worked hard on wording, and ……..poof. Maybe it was better the second time, right.

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junkartist | @junkartist | Nov 19 3:15pm

Thank you, Mu computer has been fighting me, so I understand. I had written an article (not related to this) once and then couldn't find it when I went back in. The computer really has it in for me. I'm glad to know what happened.

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junkartist | @junkartist | 6 days ago
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@junkartist I also live in a very small community. Your description of the discharge conversation you've..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@junkartist I also live in a very small community. Your description of the discharge conversation you've had with your therapist is and should be a part of every therapy practice. The information you have posted here is broad enough that I doubt your therapist or anyone in your community will connect your posts with your therapist. I have heard about similar conversations in my community and honestly unless the person tells me who the therapist is I would not know.

Discussing a plan to discharge a patient when they are doing significantly better than when they first came in is a reasonable conversation. You have let your therapist know that you do not feel ready to be discharged and so your therapist plans to discuss this with her supervisor. If you were my family member I'd suggest that you talk to your therapist about seeing her on a less frequent basis such as every other week or once a month. In that way you can put to practice what you've learned in your sessions and report back to your therapist on how you are feeling about yourself and these less often visits. This is a very good way for you to figure out, for yourself, what you would like to do.

What do you think about my suggestions? When do you next see your therapist?

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I have an appointment with the therapist on December 23. I will ask her questions, information that she skipped over and to clarify some statements she made. I have calmed down. I am still uncomfortable with waiting for discharge without knowing the criteria. At last session, she said she didn't know what this is about and we would wait for "them".
Thank you for your suggestions. I will consider them and appreciate your calm perspective. The next session is in December.

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junkartist | @junkartist | 6 days ago
In reply to @gently "Being considered for discharge can feel like rejection, but indicates that you are recovering. The therapists..." + (show)
@gently

Being considered for discharge can feel like rejection, but indicates that you are recovering. The therapists goal is to help you become independant of them. There are cases where oversight keeps a patient safe from the therapist. The relationships in therapy are genuine. A therapist can become engaged in a way that hinders timely withdrawal.
Counter transference describes a pattern where the therapist developes a dependancy on the patient.
Someone in the organization your therapist is involved with is exercising diligence.
You say things have changed and maybe you should be encouraged venture into non-professional relationships. Then again, it might be too soon. You may need to continue with this therapy.
You are probably the best person to figure this part out. Do you look forward to therapy as a pleasant experience. Are you still solving problems that you feel like you don't have the skills to resolve.
I really like your protectiveness of your therapist, evident in later posts.
It sounds as though you have a great therapist who has truely helped you. Congratulations on your progress!

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Thank you for your perspective. I have calmed down and plan on asking some questions of my therapist to clarify the reasons for considering discharge. I have been dealing with depression for a very long time and am capable to handle it on my own. Right now my situation is changeable up and down which effects me considerably. especially with mood.

Nevertheless, I have calmed down and my next appointment is late in December. So, I probably might make the decision or decide what I will do with or without current therapy until after the holidays.

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kforrest | @kforrest | 6 days ago

don't be hurt, you really don't want to be so reliant on anyone. they are being paid to help you. there comes a time when you need to sink or swim. swim now and hopefully some of what they said in therapy will get you through hard times to come.

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