Therapist considering discharging me

Hi Rashida, thank you for responding to my recent message, I am truly convinced that he was totally unethical and his reason for bringing me in was based on his own personal interest. He even said later that he was convinced we were related so he knew right from the start when he saw my name that I was related. I was devastated that I opened up so quickly about my PTSD and who my abuser was, then 20 minutes later he tells me that he is socially connected to my brother and his wife. I felt like I was punched in the stomach, I had a panic attack for days afterwards and I became quite paranoid, my thoughts were scattered and I imagined him telling my family about our conversation. I have disassociated myself from my family because last year I tried to reach out to my brother to try and find someone resolution, it failed miserably, he has a good life and social status in his community so he was not prepared to open any doors with me or even admit that it even happened. The abuse occurred many years ago when I was a child up until I left home at age 19, I cannot explain why my past is tormenting me now, it may be due to the past five years with the pandemic and getting cancer, either way it’s not uncommon for this to happen. I made a decision not to pursue it any further mainly due to my fragile mental health and I have no one left in my family that knows about my past with him, this would be my parents and they are long gone. I am receiving some intensive therapy from another source to help me with my PTSD which they feel is what now needs to be addressed. I don’t think my family will pursue this matter but are more inclined to make me out to be a mental case, I already know that this is the stand that they have taken. I thank you for your support and I pray that this unfortunate situation will just go away, I am praying for mental peace and putting the bad things to rest once and for all, Frouke.

Hi kdalda, I have read your reply and I wish that it was possible to get help but I am very fragile at this time, it started last year when I began having nightmares about my past abuse, I was devastated to suddenly have nightmares at this moment in my life. The past five years have been very difficult for me with covid and cancer, I feel that the stress brought back traumas from my past. I am fairly forthright and thought that I could reach out to my brother last year to discuss this matter but I totally over estimated what I thought would happen. He is not prepared to deal with this let alone admit to anything, his reaction was to label me as mentally unstable with other family members. It just made everything worse and I began to doubt myself, only my parents would be able to attest on my behalf that he suffered mental problems in his youth and that the abuse was real. My own sons were uncomfortable with me bringing this up and they too respect my brother. I feel totally at a disadvantage with a history of emotional problems and on paper he presents a more viable image. It would really be detrimental to my wellbeing to start any actions and I think that it would be better for me to work on myself to put things back where it belongs. Upon hindsight it was foolish for me to believe he would have been compliant to go through this with me. I made a bad judgment call and now I’ve retreated to my own personal space. I hope that the therapy I’m currently receiving will help me to do so, as for the psychiatrist, I hope he’s enjoying what he did and I feel very sorry for anyone that is going to him for help, Frouke.

@frouke, terribly sorry that you've had this experience.
If it would give you resolution to report this theapist, consider it. It seems to me that it would prolong your involvment, if the complaint was found actionable. The situation is actionable, but could bad faith be proven.
Your primary objective has to be to preserve your own health.
I wonder if your brother is a client of this doctor. Your brother could be seeking (and would certainly need) therapy for his transgressions.

@frouke child abuse - whether sexual, physical or emotionsl - cannot be waved away. It makes me so angry to watch abusers get away with it and lead their lives like nothing ever happened while the abused are left traumatized for life. I can relate as have suffered all three but in my case, as an East Indian child living in an East Indian community I had nowhere to turn to because always the victim (especially if a girl) is blamed, and the matter is swept under the rug in order to preserve the family’s status in society.

I am so glad to know at least in your case you have had access to help of some sort, even if not from family. I hope and pray you will get some closure. You will never get over your trauma, but bringing the perpetrators to justice would help to bring some sort of closure - although that is easier said than done,

Would you mind elaborating further what you think happened here? I appreciate your post. It is also disturbing to me. Do you think the provider was predatory? Do you think your abuser had anything to do with this? I am very sorry this happened to you. Our society has changed so much and not in a good way. I think fear is being used to traumatized and control others.

Rashida, I am truly sorry for the suffering you have endured, it’s heartbreaking that you were not able to be vindicated for your pain caused by abuse, as a survivor of this trauma it’s even worse that the abuse was caused by someone you know and trusted…I have lived a life fear, trust issues and anxiety and it’s made a huge impact in everything I’ve tried to do especially relationships, as a woman I never felt confident or worthy of being loved by anyone, I was often very bad to myself with substance abuse, anything to calm my anxiety and depression. I’ve struggled for some time now as to what I should do about this situation, at first I wanted to report the doctor but I couldn’t find the courage to do so, I did contact a random law firm and left a lengthy voicemail message detailing my concerns but they never responded back to me, eventually I retreated back into myself and after some time I decided to tell my story here to the people I have communicated with and see what they think about my situation. I’m not surprised that I was advised to go after the doctor after all it was my first thought but given the circumstances I face now with my physical and emotional health I knew that I wasn’t up for the challenge and were I to do so and it backfired l don’t think I would have handled it well. I’m hoping that the therapy I now am receiving will help me to come to terms with what has happened in the past and also the present, thank you for your support and know that you’re not alone and unloved.

kb, it’s very interesting that you asked me this, I also had some doubts about whether the doctor saw my name and perhaps contacted my brother..perhaps they collaborated about how to handle this situation, another thought I had was that the doctor could say that he told me ahead of time about his association with my family. I argued this idea away because he had prior knowledge about me and my name and who would be comfortable opening up wounds with a person who is socially connected to my family…it takes a lot of courage to be able to challenge the fears I carried around for so long and open up to a friend of the abuser, I admit that I have emotional problems but I still have my common sense and support to not make such a disastrous decision, thank God, amen.

How devastating for you! I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this trauma and for so long. Did I understand that your parents could attest to the trauma you suffered yet did not report it or seek help for your brother? That, for me, would be even more traumatic, that your parents, as your protectors, stood by and did nothing. Hindsight is always best, unfortunately. Of course, your brother would not come forward with his transgressions! I don't know how old you are, but I find that as I age I am less tolerant and more willing to confront situations that are unjust, unfair, hurtful etc. I try to do this in a very calm professional manner but I'm no longer able to ignore what is ethically, professionally and morally wrong! So hoping that you continue with a therapist, but even for a therapist this is a very complex case.

Kdalda75, I just finished reading your post and felt a need to share my thoughts with you on what you said…I’m 73 years old and have learned a few things about life and people, to begin with I decided to share my recent experience with others here because I knew the feedback would be varied but also honest, I prepared myself for this and I even responded to it with honesty. I too am fed up with the way people behave today and senior citizens are sometimes the hardest hit with this situation. I’m not afraid to fight back for what’s my right to say and I have in no way shied away from this situation…in fact I’m just not ready to do anything at this point in time, I have mentioned several times that this is not my finest moment, I retreated for my own protection and I will wait to see if anything else comes out of this matter. I hope in the meantime that I can fortify myself for whatever may happen. I’m a survivor and not a victim, sometimes you have to be patient and wait, my instincts tell me that the psychiatrist who is well into his 70’s, knows what he can get away with, he might be supportive to my family but I don’t think he’s willing to jeopardize his career and credibility for this issue, thanks for your input.

Kndaustin71, I’m sorry but I think my last post was in response to your post, I directed my comments to someone else named kdalda75, my apologies, it’s been a long day and very emotional, thanks 🙏