Hi Jim,

It's been a while. I was looking for you before X-Mas. Wondering how you were doing. I just feel you and I seem to be walking a similar tightrope. I did not realize that you were waiting to have SCS surgery. That was my last and only hope to alleviate my CRPS pain. Originally I saw the Neurosurgeon who appeared to be really nice. Following a review of my file (I had, had ketamine infusion treatments a year earlier which did not work) & a few more questions and a physical assessment he had me get a MRI done so that he was prepared with a clear view of my spine. After this was done he said that we would set a date for surgery. Unfortunately, for me the process changed whilst I was waiting for my SCS surgery. As you mentioned, part of the new process here in Canada now entailed a psychiatric assessment amongst other things now stretching out the process and justifying more jobs etc. in an already stretched healthcare system!
Also unfortunate for me was the fact that the woman in charge of the new Pain Centre did not even believe in CRPS.
Long story short...I was denied the SCS surgery. I was told that I had something wrong with me but it was not CRPS (but she refused to treat me even though she acknowledged that there was something definitely wrong with me). She did not refer me any where or offer me next steps. This was ridiculous especially since we have public healthcare so there are no other options once I walked out the door. That particular hospital is the only one in our province that offers that surgery. Ultimately I went back to the Neurosurgeon since he had confirmed my diagnosis (he was probably the sixth doctor to confirm). He kept bringing up more things for me to do in order for me to have the surgery. Finally, I confronted him about it. I told him he was just playing games with me. One of the things that he said was that I needed to deal with my depression. I told him that the reason I was so depressed was because of everything that this CRPS has done to my life. He accused me of yelling at him and I said that I was not yelling, I may be getting loud though. So I apologized for that, but I got the feeling that he was just really angry with the fact that I dared confront him. As with many "brain surgeons" I believe he was a narcissist. I asked my family doctor for the report that came in from him and as I suspected he mentioned not only that I had yelled at him (of course no mention of my apology). Then even more shocking was the fact that the last three visits he had sent my family doctor reports saying that he denied me the surgery. I guess he expected my family doctor to say something, which he did not. So finally in his last report he entered a whole whack of lies that basically covered all of the acceptable reasons that a doctor was allowed to "fire the patient" . This would ensure I would not, could not go back!!!!!!
Three things have since transpired. 1). The head of the Pain Clinic retired. 2).My husband died and finally 3). My Neurosurgeon is in jail.....for killing his wife and shoving her in a suitcase, driving north and sticking the suitcase under a bridge near a river!!! Apparently, he was abusive to her... She was also a very well respected doctor. They had three young children, which I feel terribly for.
But I am so tempted to go and see him. Mainly because a few patients are down at the courts supporting him because he operated on them & changed their lives. Unfortunately, they haven't seen the real him as I have. Although, I know that even if he had operated on me and it worked, I would be thankful, however I would NEVER support him.....He is more than likely a murderer.
I got to experience a little of the "other side of him".

So Jim you see yourself being able to let some of that depression go if you are able to get the SCS surgery soon? Is it mainly rooted in the pain or is there more to it?
I will be your cheerleader and support Jim (maybe that will be some support for me....knowing that you will soon get relief).

Hang in there for us Jim!!! Plus hey you are going to have a new baby granddaughter soon. Is this your first?

Oh, my! You've been through a lot! I'm fortunate to have a good team of doctors, with the possible exception of the scs surgeon, whom I haven't actually even met. They lose records that my doctors send and have never returned my calls. My wife is flying out on the 7th, and will be gone for a month, so I may have to put off the process until April. I don't know of any doctor having lied about me. That's incredibly unethical! Your experience sounds like a good story line for a reality show.

I'll leave yet another message with the scs doctor this afternoon.

I know that chronic pain is contributing to depression and other mental health issues, but the pain didn't get bad until maybe 3 or 4 years ago, and I've been treated for major depression for around 13 years. I've been working through a lot of things over those years.

Please remind me what CRPS is.

Thanks for your supportive words.

Jim