Jim, I believe by talking about suicide out loud and with other people- that in itself is a positive step. Jim, when you can- take sheet of paper, sit down in a quiet place where you won't be bothered by other people or noise, write down on the front sheet- the reasons you believe would lead you to suicide and try and write down why? And than on the back page, write down what you would like to do with your life- is there a goal that's important to you? are you meeting with other people for fun-just to talk and have coffee( for example) think about why you would really want to die, if there something that is overwhelming that you can fix it- if not- have to asked for help for anyone- that's hard for allot of us, as a Chaplain and former Infantry Soldier, I feel weak at times asking for help-as I should be able to answer my own questions about depression and why I feel hopeless. I want to be able to serve again somewhere- and when you have to retire- for most anyway-it's leaves a big hole in your life, your day, your purpose- you ask your self is life over and now I'm worthless and can't offer anything to any body. You train in the Military everyday and you see soldiers at Walter Reed for example, pray with them, talk with their family and their children- being able to help them with lodging and toys- food and transportation- then all of a sudden- they hand you your discharge - and the next day you don't put on the uniform and there isn't PT call to run 2 miles( well-that one I can pass on) but my point is depression. If you don't mind me sharing with you about the man of God ( Elijah,) he had been in a major battle against Gods enemies and was on the run- a man to showed and lived his faith( A man of great faith the Scripture tell us, yet all of a sudden he became very tired and fearful of those chasing him and fell on his knees and prays that God will take his life- that he didn't want to live anymore under such circumstances- he really wanted to die( but God wasn't angry or called him weak or anything negative- He said lay down, sleep and the angels will bring you food and drink until you are rested and ready to re-join the ranks. I don't know Jim if any of this helps- Your worth more than you might think or feel right now. But please know your not alone. JJames````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````