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Jen, Alumna Mentor (@sandytoes14)

What Distracts You From the Pain?

Chronic Pain | Last Active: Jun 22, 2020 | Replies (192)

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Thanks for the welcome. I have a great husband, wonderful animals that calm me. Ice cream, most specifically Blue Bunny Mini ice cream cones (with caramel). I try to take my mind of of it with coloring. I started this before it became a fad.

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Replies to "Thanks for the welcome. I have a great husband, wonderful animals that calm me. Ice cream,..."

Unfortunately my husband doesn’t accept or understand my pain. I have no support system at home. If you can’t see it it doesn’t exist

Well that’s what we are here for! I’m sorry your husband doesn’t understand. My mother in law is the same way.

@edieguinn ditto for me, only it is my wife who is a nurse!! If she can’t see it then I am faking. My kids are more supportive. 19lin

I understand what you’re saying, edieguinn. My husband takes my chronic pain out on me by ridicule, and being plain outright rude and cruel. I’m 5’2″, reaching is difficult for me. I’ll place items in the cupboards in reach for myself, items which he knows I use often, then find he’s moved them out of my reach! If I attempt to talk and explain, it gets worse. I end up keeping pretty much everything inside of me, because no matter what, it doesn’t matter. I see your posting was October of 2016. I hope the pain you had been experiencing is gone, or much less than it has been. Also, that your husband is much kinder and understanding toward you. Blessings…

Hello @jomo2000, welcome to Connect. I am sorry that you find yourself in a difficult situation, even with the little things. I am glad you found us here on Connect as I am sure you will learn, there are many great and supportive members.

@jomo2000, if you don’t mind sharing, what causes your chronic pain?

Hi @JustinMcClanahan, thank you for your greeting. My chronic pain comes from a severe blow to my cervical spine. I worked with higher functioning special needs people at the time. I had taken 2 clients grocery shopping and was placing their groceries in the rear of the work van, when 1 young man had an anger outburst slamming the van hatch down on my neck. This occurred in October 2012. Since, I’ve had 3 c-spine surgeries. The 1st didn’t take, the 2nd surgery did take, however, I continued with severe pain and numbness. The doctor told me what I was feeling wasn’t happening, it was all in my head. My continued complaints resulted in the 3rd surgery. The doctor found the screws he placed were protruding into my nerves! I continue with chronic pain and numbness. I’ve taken PT, and other treatments, which gave limited relief, up to 6-8 hours, which was wonderful! But, with our health insurance rates upped, and benefits more limited, I’m not able to afford these luxuries. This is probably more than you wanted to know! Thank you..



Hi can you tell us if the Dr. removed those screws and put smaller ones in?

Sorry about your numbness @tingling did the Dr remove those screws and replace them with smaller ones ?

@jomo2000 Thank you for sharing how you were injured. It helps to have some history. Special needs folks take a lot of patience. It takes a special person to work with them.
My spinal issues come from heavy lifting for years and a broken femur at 20 which left one leg 1/2 inch shorter-I am now 66.
Chronic pain is not for wimps.

@jomo2000, thank you for sharing your story with us, and you can never share too much with us in the community. I am sorry to hear about how you sustained your injury. Here is another discussion I think you may be interested in checking out, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/surgical-solutions-to-chronic-cervicalback-pain/. In that discussion you can meet members talking all about cervical/back surgeries and recovery, failures, coping mechanisms.

@jomo2000, if you don’t mind me asking another question based on this discussion, what sort of activities do you do to distract you from the pain? I play guitar, video games, and exercise as much as possible (when I am not having joint or hemophilia-related issues).

Hi @JustinMcClanahan , thank you for suggesting the site, I will definitely check it out! And, thank you, with reaching out to help. It does mean a lot to me, I am truly grateful. I don’t mind questions! My activities in the winter for pain distraction are light housekeeping, snuggling with my 2 cats, my sanity keepers!, and baking for others, when I’m able. In the spring, I enjoy gardening, although, besides the known pain, my balance has gotten much worse, which causes me to fall. I normally end up sitting in the flowers amongst the bees, so far friendly bees! I used to enjoy going for walks, although now, I must have someone with me.. I recently purchased trekking poles so I can take walks by myself. I’m ready to try out the poles. One activity I did take up last spring was voice lessons. I do love to sing, however the multi surgeries did a number on my gag reflex, also swallowing. The lessons did help with strengthening, but I needed to suspend the lessons due to my financial situation vs medical bills. It Will get better..
What type of guitar music do you enjoy playing, @JustinMcClanahan? Again, thank you.

Your post almost brings me to tears for both good and bad reasons. I can not imagine having no support, but actual passive aggressive behavior towards my maladies is unimaginable. that makes me want to cry for you and then I want to cry for all of the amazing support I get from my spouse. Please use us for support that you are not finding at home. It is certainly not as comforting, but is better than being alone and isolated with your pain.

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