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DiscussionOn Grief from a Lost Relationship
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Feb 7, 2020 | Replies (15)Comment receiving replies
Replies to "I can relate. Due to depression and anxiety I never could connect with girls when I..."
A very heart-felt reply, thank you. I do not understand why anyone would tell you it was okay to drink through to a relationship; while I have done so in my case. What I found is that it clouded my understanding of my feelings of how to relate to the person I came to love, and, of course, hurt that person. I do understand why I came to drink in relationships, and like you I was/am a handsome man that could get along with women when I felt okay about myself via drink. No person wants or needs to be in a relationship that is an illusion forever.
Today I am charged with finding who I am independently, and I am unsure and afraid of any relationship. I carry the scars of being informed directly how I can hurt people in dishonesty of who I am, and of sharing my fears. To be honest, I fear forever to be alone; while feeling I deserve it. The good days are when I don't think about this state and can occupy my mind hourly. This is not life, it's just existence, but I still try.
Jay