Happiness for Old Folks

I learned in therapy to use a half smile, it works well.

My wife still smiles at me the way she did on our wedding day.

Can any man be happier than that?

I have spent my life as a "glass (at least) half full" person no matter the circumstances. I find that the older I get, the more I surround myself with those of like mind.

This has led me to be more accepting of differences in people, more open to change, and less prone to anger or irritation.

My winter community is filled with people, young, middle aged and older, who have faced or continue to face many challenges. Some of these people are happy in spite of it all and I am drawn to them like a moth to a flame.

Others are whiny, sad, angry or entitled, and I have been known to hide in my little house or cross the road to avoid them. They can cast a cloud over the most beautiful day.

Today I am feeling blessed - the sky was adrift with rising fog as I drove to my doctor's appointments, the sun is shining now, and I will soon go out for my first real autumn walk, where I need to wear a jacket.

Thanks for your post, hopenr. You can find Frankl's book on the www if you google it. It's downloadable, for those who are interested.

There is a somewhat dated model of motivation that was proposed by a psychologist by the name of Julian Rotter, in the 60's, who posited that there are two main sources, or loci, of control in individuals, one internal and one external. Most of us have a balance between the two loci of control, but it's always situationally dependent. Context can be 'everything'. Those with a strong orientation to an external locus of control, as he phrased it, take their cues and the impetus for action from without, or externally. They are willing to submit more to outside influences, to people around them, to world events, to news (good and bad), to opinions, etc. ?Those with a strong orientation for internal locus of control tend to be more self-deterministic, to use their own internal values and desires to motive themselves to action and to thought. It happens that those whose locus of control is more internal across situations are happier than those whose locus of control is more external. So, hopenr, you are right, if I can be a judge, to say that each of us is responsible for how we react to life's circumstances and events.

Great post....and great remarks....I also had the experience of reminiscing on childhood events which I enjoy doing but realized that my sister didn't...and I think that sometimes forgetting the unhappy things and forgiving the people involved and enjoying the retelling of all the good and fun things happened helps in feeling happy...(Obviously really bad trauma not included) Enjoying childhood memories and adventures and sharing them makes one feel united and less alone....laughing together is so great. We all have so much to share and learn from each other...thanks for this post.

How very well spoken. I, too, have Viktor Frankl's book; it is well worn and it is time to get it out again. I have been quite concerned about a reaction of my daughter to a situation concerning me - until I realized she is entitled to her reaction, whatever it is, and, similarly I'm entitled to my response to my circumstances. I do not have to adopt her concerns, listen to them, yes, but not let them become my outlook on my circumstances.

@leemoore13
I am in total agreement with you. And in the Bible, Deuteronomy 30:19 the chose life scripture explains:
The command to "choose life" is more than just deciding to keep breathing. It involves: Loving God, Walking in God's ways, Keeping God's commandments, and Having a change of heart.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬, ‭11‬-‭13‬ ‭NIV‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/111/php.4.8-13.NIV

We do find Happiness teachings wherever there is a belief in a God figure. Here is another example...

---Happiness comes through peace of mind. Allah says in Quran, “"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction.”
Quran Verse (13:28) - English Translation—Yusuf Ali

"Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, Lord." -- St. Augustine of Hippo