When I first posted about the addition of a catheter to our litany of woes, I was close to panicking; but, like most things, you can become an expert if you keep at it long enough. We are into our second month with the catheter, as we wait for a November 1 appt. with the urologist for a possible diagnosis (or maybe not). Our new normal has come with a visiting nurse and bath aide. Of course, the expertise we have gained means the nurse and bath aide will be leaving us. -- Now, for my favorite part of these posts, I hope to make you laugh at the pitfalls we never thought about. The nurse put us in touch with a social worker. The social worker gave us contact numbers for the VA. I hoped we would qualify for respite care, so I called, left a number, and waited. It seems that timing is everything. Not more than 10 minutes later, I got what I thought was the answer to my prayers. It didn't take the scam artist on the line very long to figure out he had a cooperative mark. And when he called back days later and said my husband was approved for benefits, I gladly gave him banking information. Then, I hired someone for respite care on his say-so. Luckily, I do not do online banking, a favorite tool for scammers. Also, my scammer was pretty dumb and scrambled the info I gave him. But he was persistent. After his failed attempt, he called back three weeks later and when he requested more info to complete his plans to drain my checking account, my brain cells finally went on red alert. Am I a boob? Should I have known better? Yes, and yes. But, I was also weak and weary from the constant beating that caring for someone with dementia brings. -- I am also the eternal optimist who refuses to be defeated by dementia. I contacted the genuine VA rep on Friday. He was a caring person who opened a claim and directed us to the nearest VA facility to our home on Monday. By Tuesday, appointments for tests and doctors and a virtual meeting for education were in place. There might be financial assistance. At least, we are in the system. -- I am looking at this adventure with the scammer as just one more learning experience, on a long list. The woman hired to provide respite care is named Hannah. Somehow, I will figure out how to pay for her services. Since this journey with dementia is not over yet, it is still one step at a time. -- GloRo