Newly diagnosed: being brave and fearful at the same time

Dear Denise, @denisestlouie

Your strength and resilience inspire me. You've faced unimaginable challenges, from the traumatic experience with Crohn's disease to the recent cancer diagnosis. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and uncertain.

Firstly, please acknowledge that you're not alone. For the past 18 months, someone said to me that I have been living in my head. Perhaps that's true for many of us - we've been living in my head because we don't want to bother folks with our angsts. Our feelings, fears, and doubts are valid. It just takes immense courage to admit vulnerability, in general, and I'm happy you have a therapist to help, in particular.

You've already demonstrated remarkable determination and adaptability by transforming your life to manage Crohn's. Now, focus on harnessing that same energy for cancer treatment.

Remember:

1. You are more than your diagnosis.
2. Your worth and identity extend beyond this challenge.
3. You've survived difficult situations before; you can do it again.

Trust in:

1. God's plan and strength.
2. Your medical team's expertise.
3. Your inner resilience.

Don't blame yourself; cancer is often unpredictable. Instead, focus on:

1. Self-care and compassion. Eat for nutrients, not just to feel full. Avoid sugar and carbs.
2. Mind-body connection (therapy, prayer, music, walks in the park or yard, meditation, etc.).
3. Surrounding yourself with positive support. Find at least one person, you could call in the middle of the night or go with you on appointments.

Celebrate your strengths:

1. Your 'strong, independent woman' spirit.
2. Your ability to lift others despite your own fears.
3. Your proactive approach to health.

You are:

1. A warrior, fighting for your life.
2. A survivor, with a story to share.
3. A beacon of hope, inspiring others.

Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel emotions, but don't let fear define you. You are capable of overcoming this.

In addition:

1. Continue journaling to process emotions.
2. Foster open communication with loved ones.
3. Celebrate small victories.
5. Seek support groups or online communities like this Mayo Forum. Stay positive.

Keep shining... you've got this!

@denisestlouie Your emotional pain comes through in your post. I am honored that you chose to share your story and your fears here. To live with bowel obstruction for so long without relief until surgery and then you finally received the diagnosis of Crohn's disease. From what you've written here I can imagine that you have done everything you've been advised to keep the Crohn's disease managed. And now your recent diagnosis of mixed clear cell and serous uterine cancer. All within a few years is just too much for one person to handle.

I am filled with sadness and compassion for you. I do see that you are resilient. You may have hours or days when you feel like crumbling into a heap of anxiety and sadness but because of your resilience and determination those feelings do not last long. Is that accurate? Your resilience shows up in finding a therapist you can speak with directly and frankly about your fears. I'm thinking that your therapist creates that safe space for you to say and feel whatever comes up without the worry of holding up the person sitting across from you. I do know what you mean here. When I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer one person I worked with said immediately "do you know what caused this?". I wanted to shout (but didn't) "No!! And what difference would that make now?!!". And now whenever I see her she gives me "that look" and I want to cringe when she asks about my health. I do have family and friends who showed up for me then and still do that now. They listen and they do not judge. Have you figured out yet who such people are in your life?

I don't think any of us can claim that we did everything possible to be good to our bodies. Sure, we may have maintained a healthy diet, exercised, refrained from smoking or alcohol, tried to minimize stress. But for every minute of our waking day? I sure didn't do that and yet like you I wondered if I did something wrong. This is my way of saying that I have felt this worry about what "I did wrong" and blamed myself.

I learned a meaning of Hope that is most helpful for me and perhaps for you. Hope is the expectation that something good will happen because you are working with your cancer care team and you have a treatment plan that you are following.

How do you care for yourself when you feel overwhelmed?

Dear Denise, @denisestlouie

Your strength and resilience inspire me. You've faced unimaginable challenges, from the traumatic experience with Crohn's disease to the recent cancer diagnosis. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and uncertain.

Firstly, please acknowledge that you're not alone. For the past 18 months, someone said to me that I have been living in my head. Perhaps that's true for many of us - we've been living in my head because we don't want to bother folks with our angsts. Our feelings, fears, and doubts are valid. It just takes immense courage to admit vulnerability, in general, and I'm happy you have a therapist to help, in particular.

You've already demonstrated remarkable determination and adaptability by transforming your life to manage Crohn's. Now, focus on harnessing that same energy for cancer treatment.

Remember:

1. You are more than your diagnosis.
2. Your worth and identity extend beyond this challenge.
3. You've survived difficult situations before; you can do it again.

Trust in:

1. God's plan and strength.
2. Your medical team's expertise.
3. Your inner resilience.

Don't blame yourself; cancer is often unpredictable. Instead, focus on:

1. Self-care and compassion. Eat for nutrients, not just to feel full. Avoid sugar and carbs.
2. Mind-body connection (therapy, prayer, music, walks in the park or yard, meditation, etc.).
3. Surrounding yourself with positive support. Find at least one person, you could call in the middle of the night or go with you on appointments.

Celebrate your strengths:

1. Your 'strong, independent woman' spirit.
2. Your ability to lift others despite your own fears.
3. Your proactive approach to health.

You are:

1. A warrior, fighting for your life.
2. A survivor, with a story to share.
3. A beacon of hope, inspiring others.

Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Allow yourself to feel emotions, but don't let fear define you. You are capable of overcoming this.

In addition:

1. Continue journaling to process emotions.
2. Foster open communication with loved ones.
3. Celebrate small victories.
5. Seek support groups or online communities like this Mayo Forum. Stay positive.

Keep shining... you've got this!

This level of women supporting each other is amazing. Empathy. I often feel isolated because no one talks about Lichen Sclerous or vulva cancer. It is rare but also has limited to no research and as a result limited options for effective treatment.

Thank you

This level of women supporting each other is amazing. Empathy. I often feel isolated because no one talks about Lichen Sclerous or vulva cancer. It is rare but also has limited to no research and as a result limited options for effective treatment.

I don’t think so.

It's rather a rhetorical question, isn't it. Managing fear and nurturing hope is a constant calibration. I'm glad you found to the forum where you can be open and frank about both and everything in between. 🙂