redtulip54, you are correct in being thankful for no child together. I understand where you are at right now because I went through this with TWO narcisstic partners. It is a personality disorder that nothing will change but an act of God. I went back several times with my childrens dad. I never would accept things wouldn’t improve, even when he almost killed us. Then, several years later I found another one just like him. Married him too even when all the red flags were there. My kids are grown now but you cannot comprehend how this has affected their lives and the damage I did by exposing them to the sorrow. And I have no one to blame but myself. I worked hard to give them a “good” home and education. The one thing they needed, I was too selfish to give them, and was the love that should exist in that home. I refused to accept the narcisstic man(s) because I guess I didn’t think I deserved better, I don’t know. Let me tell you, in the name of those children and the pain they battle now at 40 and 35, I DID AND THEY DID DESERVE BETTER! Explore that. Explore why you became addicted to unhappiness.
If you want to go back, go back. You are an adult and no one will suffer but you. Just remember, nothing will change. My heart bleeds for you.
I will never get over what I put my beautiful, wonderful children through.