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PAIN : Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Oct 7 5:47am | Replies (11)
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@redtulip54

Thank you baa. I am trying and now it is to go through morning, then till lunch, till evening and the nights are the worst. I try to study. I took up some online courses at a university. I started last year before I left him. I try to keep up, I did an assignment before I left. I find I can't concentrate but I try. Thankfully, we don't have a child together. I always regretted not having one with him, but now I think it is a blessing may be, I don't know... I hope one day I see it very clearly and if I see him accidentally, my heart might twitch a bit, but then it will tell me You are in a good place now. That's my dream.

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Replies to "Thank you baa. I am trying and now it is to go through morning, then till..."
baa | @baa | Oct 6 11:14am

redtulip54, you are correct in being thankful for no child together. I understand where you are at right now because I went through this with TWO narcisstic partners. It is a personality disorder that nothing will change but an act of God. I went back several times with my childrens dad. I never would accept things wouldn’t improve, even when he almost killed us. Then, several years later I found another one just like him. Married him too even when all the red flags were there. My kids are grown now but you cannot comprehend how this has affected their lives and the damage I did by exposing them to the sorrow. And I have no one to blame but myself. I worked hard to give them a “good” home and education. The one thing they needed, I was too selfish to give them, and was the love that should exist in that home. I refused to accept the narcisstic man(s) because I guess I didn’t think I deserved better, I don’t know. Let me tell you, in the name of those children and the pain they battle now at 40 and 35, I DID AND THEY DID DESERVE BETTER! Explore that. Explore why you became addicted to unhappiness.
If you want to go back, go back. You are an adult and no one will suffer but you. Just remember, nothing will change. My heart bleeds for you.
I will never get over what I put my beautiful, wonderful children through.

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