Dear Scottij.,
You only know part of the story. Usually, I don't expect a "thanks" at every turn like with Samaritan's Purse and other charities I give to but they do send a receipt and thank you. This is my first grandchild I am putting out tuition for so it is a lesson and an outcome I was not prepared for. This is the grandchild that lived with us and I helped raise 5 1/2 years, got up early before going to work and fed so mom could sleep in, paid their bills, volunteered in his class, went on field trips, bought clothes for, gave money for a down payment on his parents' house and believe me the list is so much longer. He also told me that because I don't text or call a lot, I am not part of his life. His mom has caused me to pull back by insulting me, screaming at me and not talking to me for a year. He now lives east coast and I am west. This really sticks in my craw... I gave them $250.00 for senior pictures, picked out one I'd like and didn't even get a wallet pic. but the grandma that didn't pay got pics. Drove to Phoenix to watch his hockey game and he didn't spend 3 minutes with us. I was raised by WWII parents of the Depression, My dad served on Iwo and my mom, a nurse, told me she had 2 dresses for a week of school. They knew and practiced gratitude despite their upbringing and the harsh times. Yes, I will move on and hope the value of caring, gratitude and thoughtfulness will be instilled in the other 4 by their parents and me. Grandma's love language is gift giving so it is hard to reverse and I try providing requests ( like pics)when asked and more. I try being at special events in their lives. Just watched my daughter become a colonel and my oldest granddaughter get her USAF pilot wings. So it is just not gifts. The Bible recognizes gratitude as a value because it is uplifting and goes along with caring. It is also encouraging and a positive reinforcer. Does the word "thanks" have meaning to me? Sorry but hell "yes!" After my first husband died I only wanted to make sure I was there for my kids and grandkids. I wanted my family to be close. What are we going to value in relationships .... being there for one another, caring, supporting? Are we missing the boat? I will never throw gratitude out of my value window so I will experience some disappointment.