My wife has lived with a husband with depression and anxiety, as well. I think that over time, she has learned that she needs to take care of herself, and not let me be her only focus. She's tired of the depression, and so am I. I've been living with it for around 14 years, and I wonder how much longer it's going to last. Discouragement, hopelessness, not caring about life, these are typical symptoms of depression and anxiety. Thoughts of suicide are also pretty common. It's been a long standing issue for me. Support groups for both of you can be really helpful, along with therapy and finding the right medication or combination of meds. As Jay said, figuring out what works can take a long time and can be pretty frustrating. You're going to need a lot of patience. And educating yourself about the disease will only help. When I started feeling better, I resented my wife asking how I felt, and I didn't like being treated like an invalid. We've moved past that particular hurdle. There are a lot of things not to say to a depressed person, and it's important to learn how to talk with him. Depression is treatable. I hope you and your husband find the best treatment for him. Therapy helps and medications help. The highest rate of success is the combination of the two. God bless and keep you through this journey.