How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@beckboop13

I am trying the same thing. Having a great day every day.

Becky

Jump to this post

Good say yes to life stay happy
Dan

REPLY
@mydogsbestfriend

Now 76 with minor ( to me) health issues. My mental state is, I have been dying since the day I was born. IE we will all die someday, I have ups & downs, some anxiety. I try to ‘treat myself’ even if loved ones don’t treat me; my dog is my best friend. I have mobility issues but force myself, mentally and physically to get moving regardless of how I feel, I don’t always succeed but try to look forward to the next day and have plans for the next day, to do nothing or something. I am religious and spiritual but stopped going to a physical church the past 2 years for personal reasons. I do not miss interactions in a church. It’s hard to get moving but I force myself.

Jump to this post

I am 70 years young, I don't think about death in a negative way, since I know we were not born in this world to go through heartache, problems and die. I know there is so much more.
I don't go to any church, I once went from church to church looking for answers to the meaning of life and death. it has taken me a life time to come the conclusion that we each must work out our own salvation. We each have something we were born to learn, and accomplish. Two of the
hardest things for people to do before passing on, is #1 ask the person we have hurt to forgive us. the #2 forgive the person that has hurt us. I find if we cant do this, something inside a person causes then to fear death. And those who have live and want to die, it is pain, and unable to face and forgive self. My personal Opinion Life is so beautiful let nothing hold you back enjoy it.

REPLY
@beckboop13

I am trying the same thing. Having a great day every day.

Becky

Jump to this post

Go going Say yes to life Focus on making life work for you.
Dan

REPLY
@mydogsbestfriend

My one regret ( which is minor) is I have no real close friends. Worked with 99% men in all my jobs, women were either married, much older or did not have my interests. At those times ( working) the younger ones’ main interests were dating, going out to bars looking for guys, having kids ( they were single) etc. Just wasn’t my thing. But now I value my time wisely and I’m thankful for being mostly healthy and mobile.

Jump to this post

I’ve met some wonderful friendly women @ church. We have several women’s Bible study groups- Tuesday morning, Wednesday evening & a third meeting on Monday or Thursday nite. Out of that we’ve started a monthly Bunco group. I’ve made great friends from 20’s to my age, 80. We all get along beautifully. You might not only make friends but become a child of God.

REPLY
@yellowfinch

I’ve met some wonderful friendly women @ church. We have several women’s Bible study groups- Tuesday morning, Wednesday evening & a third meeting on Monday or Thursday nite. Out of that we’ve started a monthly Bunco group. I’ve made great friends from 20’s to my age, 80. We all get along beautifully. You might not only make friends but become a child of God.

Jump to this post

I already am a child of God. I do not attend church now for personal reasons I don’t go into here. As for past church attendance, in the non Catholic Churches I went to I was looked down on for being Catholic. In the Catholic Churches the women’s groups were mostly married with children. I did not fit in nor was I welcomed. I thank you for your concern and wish you well

REPLY
@mydogsbestfriend

My one regret ( which is minor) is I have no real close friends. Worked with 99% men in all my jobs, women were either married, much older or did not have my interests. At those times ( working) the younger ones’ main interests were dating, going out to bars looking for guys, having kids ( they were single) etc. Just wasn’t my thing. But now I value my time wisely and I’m thankful for being mostly healthy and mobile.

Jump to this post

Sometimes -- as in my case, an octogenarian -- one may not have friends, Despite Seriously following avenues that promise a friend-connection, for the last few years, and rather 'obsessively' over the last year. Yesterday I came to realize that the local Alzheimer's Society where I have gone twice is not going to work. But I also had a few more places that I have joined and feeling the vibes if they offer what I am looking for: a mutually rewarding social connection that allows growth intellectually: cognitively engaging pursuits. But I'd not pass up just because someone is 'not of 'right' sex, age, marital status or ability in some respect (as we All are 'disabled' from someone's perspective!) because for friendship to flourish the only thing that matters is Mutual recognition that the other provides about equal value to our lives,

Tomorrow I am attending two groups of people who belong to retired people "whose love of learning grows with age" (I'm blown away with this stance on aging!). I've already attended two of this group's on different interests and one seems promising. I have hope for the two tomorrow. Hope is all I can have to look forward to the days I have on this planet. After all, Is there an alternative to a (good) life Without friend?
(I'm sure Aristotle would agree with me; his big on it)

I hope you have better luck finding your friends.

REPLY
@beatricefay

I'm 79 and thought in good health but recently I had a TIA (a mini stroke) which totally surprised me. One minute I was fine and within seconds I felt shaky and couldn't speak. I was quickly taken to the hospital and given CT scans. Fortunately it was not a full blown stroke. I recovered quickly. Now I feel more fragile and vulnerable and worry it will happen again. I'm now taking a baby aspirin which I'm told will reduce my chances of a reoccurrence. Apparently age and genetics are playing a role in this. I'm feeling my age more than ever before. I now have to rebuild my confidence and focus on living and not dying.

Jump to this post

As an 80 y.o., I try to foremost Live in a way that I'll not be looking back at with: But did you not do what was in YOUR control?
I believe while a lot is outside our control -- we came in this world which was here before us, with its constraints -- so We need to live within those as you rightly said of our genes and environments.

But there is still a lot up to US to Make our life how we wish it. In my case, it's how I eat, my physical activities, how I deal with stresses whether emotional, physical, or even existential/spiritual,

In my case while I've 'lost' in some ways, I also Gain in other ways such as with more nuanced understanding of what This life Is. In other words there is no point in comparing what I used to be to what I am, Even if there were serious missteps. I cannot afford - at This age! if I must say so though it'd be true for any age -- that our time, each day and hour is a gift that would be gone forever. So I TRY to live the life I still have in ways that are best for me, with open mind that allows for growing: learning by using our inborn curiosity, social bonds and playfulness. That may mean changing my ways to what makes a Little Better sense.
I wish you are living the most of Your Life.

REPLY

I totally agree with your mindset. Your second to last sentence "That may mean changing my ways to what makes a little better sense" really struck me. After 42 years in a career that I've loved, I've decided to retire in order to hopefully do some traveling and more volunteering. The most painful and harshest "lesson" our family got recently was when 3 beloved family members passed away completely unexpectedly. It breaks my heart to think that our daughter and son-in-law had so many wonderful plans for her retirement years and those were completely snatched away from her just 3 months ago. Simply put, none of us is promised tomorrow -- a very difficult lesson I've had to learn.

REPLY
@mydogsbestfriend

I already am a child of God. I do not attend church now for personal reasons I don’t go into here. As for past church attendance, in the non Catholic Churches I went to I was looked down on for being Catholic. In the Catholic Churches the women’s groups were mostly married with children. I did not fit in nor was I welcomed. I thank you for your concern and wish you well

Jump to this post

I am so sorry you had a bad experience. Not all churches are that way. In our church we even have people in recovery-ex addicts who are now good Christians. Please try another church & keep trying until you find one that will love you. I did.

REPLY
@yellowfinch

I am so sorry you had a bad experience. Not all churches are that way. In our church we even have people in recovery-ex addicts who are now good Christians. Please try another church & keep trying until you find one that will love you. I did.

Jump to this post

Last reply: I like my religion and I’m not looking to change. I just need to find a church. But not another religion

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.