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Well my relationship of 6 years found out he had cheated on me while I was beginning the journey of caregiving, my friends moved away shortly after and unexpectedly. I was caregiving for my uncle as well and he passed away. Also took on the school advocating for my daughter, who is on the asd spectrum, because she keeps getting physically assaulted, 🙄. I also set her up with counseling and grief supports for all of this. My son also needed speech services. Just my kids and my dad is the support we have. My counselor moved and everyone else books out months that can use my insurance. So finding a therapist that actually works is difficult with little time. My dad is pretty independent but rapid decline. My kids are 9 and 4. And my now ex had his daughter who is 8. I don't even know who or where a person begins to rebuild when all their foundations and sense of self and security have been vandalized spit on and turned to smoldering coals.
Replies to "Well my relationship of 6 years found out he had cheated on me while I was..."
@nikieva, have you looked at supports for your daughter and father? There is programs that offer respite care. Professionals come in and watch child/father for a few hours. You could start while your there to build a relationship and then eventually you can take time away from the house. Are you a member of a church, could they help 1x/week or every other week.
Other ways, could you afford a maid service 1x per month. I started also being a caregiver in my 30s and I found fresh air (walks, parks) as well as taking tasks away were huge helps!
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I am so sorry, so virtual hugs all around
on the practical level, even a grief support group locally (you have the death of your uncle and anticipatory grief with respect to dad, at a minimum) might be a low cost immediate option?
please talk to your primary care and let them know the burden of caregiving
they can often prescribe a short term mild anti-depressant that can be helpful
no siblings of yours? siblings can be their own challenges, but the 6 of us, scattered geographically did what we could when we could to help out the one Mom had settled closest to in retirement
are you on the HIPPA paperwork for dad? is his Primary care helpful in sharing local resources?
have you checked with your Area Council on Aging for other local resources
practical stuff to check off includes will, living will/advanced directives, POA for general needs and for medical needs, that sort of stuff
if you can check out the AARP caregiving handouts online
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/
It was immensely useful to learn this before I needed it
and yes, you are in the middle of a "storm" so I do understand that it is just one more thing to think about
sometimes for me, (an N of 1) making a list of these things to be done and getting them done over days, weeks, is a useful exercise that keeps me sane
I am fortunate to have a MH therapist who does tele-health as I am in a rural area and a 100 mile RT weekly would add stress
again, many virtual hugs