Where do you want to grow old?

@shinran, it sure sounds like you chose where (and how) you wanted to grow old. And to keep on going. Family, friends, diversity, fitness and pleasant climate in which to be social and active. Do you still manage the upkeep of your home and property? What tasks or chores do you choose to get help for?

I, too, wish to age in place. I live in a rambler (one story home). The gated community I’ve lived in for almost 20 years is safe, the neighbors are wonderful and supportive. I’m very independent at this point, but it’s comforting to know that there are services I can hire when the need arises. I have no family nearby, so it will be up to me to steer my own ship. In a perfect world, that would be hiring staff to come in, but there’s always the question of who will supervise them when I get to the point where I cannot do so.

I had been in the healthcare industry for decades, and adamant about staying in my home. It seems now, in modern times, residents are often subjected to less than quality care due to staffing issues.

Many of our friends have opted to sell their lovely homes and move to a nearby continuing care community where you have to buy in, and pay a $5000 to $6000 a month fee. That community has been fraught with problems off and on since Covid started. And many, when they get to the point, where one spouse needs assisted care, and they wish to stay in their independent living apartment, need to hire private care in order to stay in place. So my question is why not stay at home and save the $500,000 to $700,000 it cost to move in?

So many questions to address…..

Yes, so many questions
. And in my case some are unknowable right now. What an adventure! 😂

I agree with everything you said. We have long-term insurance that will pay for in-home care for the rest of our life while I don’t look forward to having someone in the home all the time, I definitely know it will be better than being in a facility. good luck everyone.

I’m alone now but have 4 wonderful children who are very supportive. I just moved from a fabulous town back to a town I always associated with unhappiness due to living in a failed marriage there. But some of my children stayed here, married, had children here. I am 84 and need to have them near me. So I moved into a community for adults 55+. Now everything old is new again! The town has grown and I chose a wonderful, light filled, active community that always has something to do. My advice is to always go to several places before you choose! They differ considerably. Ask your self when visiting if you can see yourself being happy here. Then when you move in, force yourself to go out of your comfort zone for a bit. Introduce yourself, join in a game or book club. Pretty soon you will be saying “I’m so glad I moved here!

Honestly, I’ve thought a lot about this, and it’s a tough decision. I don’t want to be a burden on my kids—that’s really important to me. At the same time, the idea of living with strangers in a community or facility where I don’t know if I can fully trust the people around me doesn’t sit well either. I’m really torn.

Living abroad makes it even more complicated because I don’t really have a strong group of friends here. I could go back to my home country, where I’d have more familiarity and maybe even reconnect with people from my past, but then I’d be far away from my kids. That’s a tough pill to swallow. I don’t want to choose between being close to my family and being in a place where I feel comfortable and supported. It’s such a hard balance to strike.

I guess what I’ve learned is that there’s no perfect solution. My advice to others in a similar situation would be to take the time to really weigh your options, and be open with your family about your concerns. It’s a personal decision, and one that might not have a clear answer right away...

What a great question. Before I began my IVIG, I had plans in place to relocate to Montreal, but now I am staying in my own place for now, at least. Given that my dining room resembles an art studio, as long as I have my music and my art, I am blissful. Canada can wait for a few months. Thank you