1. < Mental Health

Daughter has suicidal ideation

Posted by intriagozz @intriagozz, Aug 22 9:03am

Daughter has been suicidal (ideation) for a few years now, was baker acted in 2023, pills. She has a physiatrist/phycologist. She may be on an autistic spectrum, albeit very light. She’s taking medication that has been prescribed for years also. But nothing seems to be working well. Still having issues. I am reaching out to the Mayo Clinic to see if they may have specific tests and maybe a better understanding of what may be causing this. Anyone have any advice or what steps to be taking? I don’t feel comfortable sending her to an inpatient facility as it seems most are just there to take your money, no real info on the therapists they use, and could baker act her at will. She’s 19, but immature for her age, also seems to be part of the issue.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Sep 5 11:55am

more suggestions?

Well, I really would deal with this through autistic experts.

Sure, the psychology folks should be a part, but I think the experts on autism have to reign in.

Frankly, I did not know that autistic folks went suicidal. First time I am hearing of that.

For regular folks?

Stay busy...very very important. The mind needs a direction. Without a direction, it falls in on itself and dwells in the misery. Just constantly busy. Always tasks to keep the mind busy.

People. Plenty of contact with people. I can remember being in a suicidal place and just going shopping at the grocery store...and just talking with the cashier would be enough to put the suicidal depression down. I don't what it is and I don't know that it is important, but contact with people is key.

So, if you live in a house with her, you inviting friends over to play cards, great idea. There should be people constantly around her.

With me, the horrible humans in my life just kept me very very isolated. I spent years and years with very very minimal contact with people. It just ruins you.

Engage folks with conversation. Prop up folks. Constant praise, constant encourgement. None of this "tough love" nonsense. Suicidal folks don't need to "get tougher." That is a different dynamic entirely. They need to feel safe. Being yelled at makes people feel unsafe. They need to be calm enough, to sort of climb down from the anxiety tree, so they can just be at peace, be at peace with what is around. And when you are at peace with what is around you can enjoy a very simple moment...a bird flying past the window, a piece of apple pie. Simple, simple stuff.

Now, again, all that applies to folks not dealing with another disorder, like autism. But the autism experts should know what works for those folks.

Hang in there, best of luck.

REPLY
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Sep 5 12:05pm
In reply to @intriagozz "Thanks for the concern. We’re currently on Aggressive OCD treatment and also trying to get her..." + (show)
@intriagozz

Thanks for the concern. We’re currently on Aggressive OCD treatment and also trying to get her assistance with Autism issues. Thanks.

Jump to this post

I think I would start with the autism experts. It really is an entirely different consciousness.

As far as the OCD therapy goes, I would pause that until the autism folks reign in.

Should be the autism experts and the experts on suicide...reigning in first.

If they give the go ahead for some OCD work, fine. But I would pause that until they confirm that is a good approach, for right now.

REPLY
1 reply
shelleyW | @shelleyw | Sep 5 9:24pm
In reply to @samcal9977zz "very very sorry you are going through this. My uncle took his life in 1987. I..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

very very sorry you are going through this.

My uncle took his life in 1987.

I was a violent crime victim in 1982. I was kidnapped and held for a time.

In 1983 and 1984, I became profoundly suicidal.

I have successfully fought against suicidal feelings for over 40 years now. It is hardly and easy struggle.

I still suffer from depression, but it no longer becomes suicidal depression.

Based on my experiences and my interactions with other folks who have been suicidal, I have to say something that may shock folks.

I absolutely do not believe that anyone who has not personally experienced suicidal feelings, really and truly understands what that is.

To be clear, I held a knife to my wrist and a bottle of pills to my mouth, many many times. Over the years? At least 25 times, maybe closer to 50.

The thing folks just cannot understand is that in that state, you see ZERO light, zero hope. It is all darkness and nothing gets through. People think, oh, just think about the good things. There are no good things in that place.

What I did, was just develop an ability to do a kind of reverse siege mentality. I would just hunker down and wait it out, until the darkness faded. Sometimes that was 2 hours, sometimes that was 2 days, sometimes that was 2 weeks.

Just sit on the couch, turn on the TV and do absolutely nothing else.

That is how I got through.

That being said, from what I know about autism? Autism is an entirely different form of consciousness.

So, while I do feel qualified to discuss suicidal feelings general, I absolutely do not know if they apply to autistic folks.

So, suggestions?

Absolutely number one.

She just can not be left alone. And I mean NEVER. I don't know how logistically that could be accomplished, but that is key.

If she were my daughter? I would go outside the law and literally handcuff her to the bed at night. Not joking.

And during the day, just someone with her...and I mean every second of every day.

The hope would be that the suicidal depressions would slowly fade after a couple of years and she could come out from that kind of scrutiny.

You know, Abraham Lincoln went suicidal after his girlfriend died. And, from what I understand, they basically locked him in a room and kept watch. I have a friend, combat vet from Vietnam. He goes suicidal once and awhile and his friends have to surround him and keep watch.

So, that is the deal, re security, from my point of view.

Jump to this post

samcal9977zz,
I have to agree with you!!
Constantly being bombarded, by your own brain, is an extremely powerful force that drains all your energy, assuming you have any energy left, to fight. Only what are you fighting for, fight to die or fight to stay alive, one more day.
If, it's hard to understand for those in the fight, how can an outsider be expected to understand.

REPLY
tayla | @tayla | Sep 9 9:44am
In reply to @shelleyw "tayla, your choice of the word craving is spot on. But for those who haven't really..." + (show)
@shelleyw

tayla, your choice of the word craving is spot on. But for those who haven't really felt the craving for death, it's very different from just thinking or even planning (suicidal ideations) for death. I am not diminishing the thinking and planning, but it is definitely different than craving death. I have been told and I can feel it, it's the release/relief from the physical and mental pain that makes us crave death. I'm am my own ball and chain, wrapped around my neck. Why does this have to exist? It's literally living with your worst enemy inside your mind and body. I don't even get a little help with meds, I can't take any antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds, I only get the bad and super bad effects and zippo of the helpful effects. Maybe I really pissed off the universe and this is payback. Cuz, I would never treat anyone else, the way I treat myself.

Jump to this post

I can definitely relate. I am still in early and sooo slow phase of finding proper meds. 1st one made me sick. 2nd Im not sure yet.
But yes, the craving of death…. The promise of no more pain. No more tears after years of suffering . Its more than a want to be better. Its an actual craving like you would crave something sweet, but it is overwhelming.
For me it is cyclical. Sometimes I don’t have this craving and Im… somewhat ok. But it always returns. It starts slowly, almost imperceptibly. It creeps in. And eventually I am back nestled into my personal hell on earth.
The cyclical nature makes me suspect bipolar 2. The symptoms fit as I do not have the extreme highs found in bipolar 1 . This is a big relief. Maybe now, if Im right, I can finally find some peace. Maybe I can see what actually being happy feels like.
Fingers crossed

REPLY
rokhan24 | @rokhan24 | Oct 29 1:40pm
In reply to @samcal9977zz "I think I would start with the autism experts. It really is an entirely different consciousness...." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

I think I would start with the autism experts. It really is an entirely different consciousness.

As far as the OCD therapy goes, I would pause that until the autism folks reign in.

Should be the autism experts and the experts on suicide...reigning in first.

If they give the go ahead for some OCD work, fine. But I would pause that until they confirm that is a good approach, for right now.

Jump to this post

Although I am not a doctor, I am a parent of a child with autism and have gained significant experience from my community. I firmly believe that herpes viruses, such as CMV and EBV, are major contributors to autism in children and various health conditions in adults, including autoimmune diseases. I can easily prove this by testing parents of autistic children and the children themselves for herpes viruses, especially CMV. By presenting this data to the CDC, we can demonstrate that these viruses are a significant cause.

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | Oct 29 4:42pm
In reply to @rokhan24 "Although I am not a doctor, I am a parent of a child with autism and..." + (show)
@rokhan24

Although I am not a doctor, I am a parent of a child with autism and have gained significant experience from my community. I firmly believe that herpes viruses, such as CMV and EBV, are major contributors to autism in children and various health conditions in adults, including autoimmune diseases. I can easily prove this by testing parents of autistic children and the children themselves for herpes viruses, especially CMV. By presenting this data to the CDC, we can demonstrate that these viruses are a significant cause.

Jump to this post

Hi, @rokhan24, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I note you talked about having a child with autism, which @intriagozz also mentioned.

Has your child also experienced suicidal ideation at any point? If so, what advice or suggestions for steps to be taking would you have for @intriagozz?

REPLY
1 reply
rokhan24 | @rokhan24 | Oct 29 10:32pm
In reply to @lisalucier "Hi, @rokhan24, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I note you talked about having a child..." + (show)
@lisalucier

Hi, @rokhan24, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I note you talked about having a child with autism, which @intriagozz also mentioned.

Has your child also experienced suicidal ideation at any point? If so, what advice or suggestions for steps to be taking would you have for @intriagozz?

Jump to this post

No , my Son is 6 years old and he doesn’t that kind of thought right now.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.