Tips wanted for post surgery

He is probably not going to be comfortable sitting in a car seat even if it is completely reclined. I know when I was coming home the car seat was terrible and laying in the back of the car was really uncomfortable(miserable would be a better way to put it) because it was not designed for having somebody lay across the seats.

You may have a car that you can have your husband comfortably lay down while you drive. Whichever way you do it have pillows and blankets so you can set up a comfortable area to lay down. For that long drive laying down is almost essential.

I will work on getting something set up for the backseat then. Would staying another extra day (or even 2) in a hotel make sense, or is it going to be an uncomfortable ride regardless of when it happens?

5 hours is a lot. An extra day or two in a hotel could make a big difference. I know that the day after was very uncomfortable, but a couple of days later was much better.

Be interesting to see what other people have to say.

First, Susie, you’re a good partner for checking on these things for your hubby. I had my prostatectomy last September and, obviously, my comments are made based solely on my personal experience.

That said, I was still a bit under the effects of the pain meds and anesthesia the next day, of course. I remember conversations but I didn’t make good sense in hindsight and certainly wasn’t to be trusted with any decisions. I can’t be alone in this.

He’ll be wearing a catheter (no one likes) but it really shouldn’t be an issue. Sweat pants - or other loose fitting attire - will be nice. Given a 5 hour trip, I’d suggest an assortment of pillows for him to use (or not, but they’re easy to toss in the car). The good news is he won’t likely be bothering you to make a rest stop for him but he will likely need to empty the bag along the trip. 😀

Some calming music (my choice) or podcasts - whatever he likes - will also help to pass the time. It should be a fairly easy time.

Good luck to him and, again, kudos to you for trying to help in any way possible.

Good thought. A counter point, however, is that the next day he’ll still be under fading effects of anesthesia that may help ease the uncomfortable seating that is inevitable. Best case would be if he could sleep some of the trip away.

Here's a few ideas -- cheap velcro breakaway gym pants so you can easily get to whatever you need to without pulling his pants down; box of thin latex gloves and alcohol wipes so you can keep things sterile without easy access to a sink to wash your hands; an empty gaterade bottle or something with a tight lid so you can empty the bag (if necessary) without dragging him into a restroom; if he's using the larger overnight bag, maybe have a cheap dollar store plastic bucket so it doesn't have to lay on the car floor; OTC antibiotic gel to lube the catheter tube by the penis (a recommendation I got from my health care team); a trash bag and roll of paper towels in case there's any spillage if the catheter tube catches and pulls out of the bag; a disposable pad or plastic liner for the car seat so if there's an accident the seat doesn't get drenched; a clamp to clamp off the catheter tube if you need to change bags; I'd probably travel with the overnight catheter bag as the day bag fills up pretty fast; as my health care providers told me frequent stops so he can walk around to reduce likelihood of blood clots; as others said, lots of pillows and such so he can get comfortable; water and whatever meds he's prescribed so he can take them on schedule; maybe a change of clothes if he does have an accident and get's soaked; some kind of screen or paper and tape to block the sun if it's coming in the car window and shining in his face. The only other comment I'd make is that my wife and I had a 6 hour drive to where I had my surgery done. We also struggled with whether to drive home or just stay in a hotel next to the hospital for the week the catheter was in. We finally decided to just stay there. But the cost was affordable and the deciding factor was it took the pressure off my wife if something had happened (either medically to me or a car issue on the drive home). Nothing did happen, but we don't regret staying at the hotel. I think staying just another day at the hotel might be advisable as you're adjusting to the routine of having a catheter and frankly just giving yourself some time to see how he's doing. Just my 2 cents. I am not a medical professional nor do I have any special expertise in all this. Best of luck!

Just a general comment about this site I just figured out and I thought I'd share it with you as you might find it useful. I went out to the main listing for prostate cancer and searched for "surgery catheter tips". I got lots of hits on this site under prostate cancer and several of them were really excellent. Just thought I'd mention it as there's quite a bit of relevant recent historical information in various threads you might find interesting or useful. The search function can help you find them. I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier to also use the search function. Ugh.

I really don’t remember being under the fading effects of anesthesia the next day. I was in a lot of pain the whole trip home because the backseat was so uncomfortable to lay across. It was a little under an hour home and it was really painful and uncomfortable the whole way. I am 6’4” tall so trying to lay across the back seat, even in a wide car was not easy.

Sitting in the reclined passenger seat was even worse.

On the third day home I actually was able to go to a couple of clients offices to help with problems that were having with their computers. Recovery can be rapid after that first day coming home.

I had radiation rather than an RP, but I've had cancer-related surgery, and suffered from many of the same side-effects between the two of them. Some of these are probably duplicates, but here goes:

- buy a memory-foam doughnut cushion to sit on, to reduce pressure on the surgery site

- bring something to empty the catheter bag into (empty water bottles will do, but you might want one of these anyway for use at night beside the bed after the catheter comes out to avoid constant bathroom trips: https://www.amazon.com/Urinals-Spill-Proof-PerfectMed-Pack/dp/B07YMHR8SJ/ )

- lots of Tylenol or Ibuprofen, if/as allowed by his medical team

- Gravol (I think you call it "Dramamine" in the U.S.) to help with nausea, if/as allowed by his medical team --- as a bonus, it will help him sleep during the drive

- dry soda biscuits, Melba toast, or similar to snack on; also maybe ginger ale or ginger beer, if he likes it

After the catheter comes out at home, he'll also need pads and/or briefs -- get specialised ones for men, at the highest absorbency possible. If he doesn't use them all, he'll feel like he's won a victory, so it's not money wasted either way. 🙂

And I'll second what others said about breaking the trip into 2 legs if you can. Sitting up for more than a couple of hours was a misery for me during my first few months home after my spinal injury, radiation, and surgery, and it may be the same for him.

Best of luck! It's hard supporting someone with cancer, as I know from my own spouse's experience. Make sure you remember to take care of yourself, too: this is a marathon, not a sprint, and you need to ration your energy to get through.

Great ideas, thank you for those, and the hug too 😉