I am almost in the same situation! I have had lots of therapy and had to leave my job! I do not a sense of smell! I have some kind of body odor. I am talked about , laughed at and you name at! It is a vaginal odor! I wish I could afford to come to this clinic! I need help!!
I was diagnosed bipolar about 35 yrs ago; given zoloft, depakote, and benzodiazapines--taken up to 2mg/day. I was getting the perfect cocktail for stabilizing my mood, reducing my depression, and with the anti-anxiety meds that I used only when necessary, even going four years without taking any at all, I went back to taking benzos while living in Brazil, but came back to the U.S. after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. Since the oxycontin hoopla, the VA (got Parkinson's from either Agent Orange exposure or toxic drinking water while stationed at Camp Lejeune), neither the VA nor anyone else in Calif will prescribe benzos any more. Now, with the effects of Parkinson's Disease thrown into the mix, I can no longer function normally. My therapist told me that at my age, taking benzos--a half to one mg/day would be fine. But I can't find a doctor who will prescribe them. I'm at the point where I don't want anything more except to sleep. I'm sick of humanity and would check out if I didn't have my loving wife by my side. My tremors and balance get much worse when I leave the apartment. I've become pretty much a shut-in. Please reply. I need help. I'm not suicidal, but my quality of life sucks. I'd been a lifelong surfer and made a decent living in the industry--designing and shaping surfboards and setting up one of the first high-performance surfboard making machines which I recently sold on my last visit to Brazil two months ago. I no longer have an identity: former surfer, tennis player, and martial arts aficionado, along with using my background and desire to teach allowed me to do varieties of volunteerism: ESL/EFL, nursing home volunteer, and community garden organizer. But now, even my feelings have shut down.
I was diagnosed bipolar about 35 yrs ago; given zoloft, depakote, and benzodiazapines--taken up to 2mg/day. I was getting the perfect cocktail for stabilizing my mood, reducing my depression, and with the anti-anxiety meds that I used only when necessary, even going four years without taking any at all, I went back to taking benzos while living in Brazil, but came back to the U.S. after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. Since the oxycontin hoopla, the VA (got Parkinson's from either Agent Orange exposure or toxic drinking water while stationed at Camp Lejeune), neither the VA nor anyone else in Calif will prescribe benzos any more. Now, with the effects of Parkinson's Disease thrown into the mix, I can no longer function normally. My therapist told me that at my age, taking benzos--a half to one mg/day would be fine. But I can't find a doctor who will prescribe them. I'm at the point where I don't want anything more except to sleep. I'm sick of humanity and would check out if I didn't have my loving wife by my side. My tremors and balance get much worse when I leave the apartment. I've become pretty much a shut-in. Please reply. I need help. I'm not suicidal, but my quality of life sucks. I'd been a lifelong surfer and made a decent living in the industry--designing and shaping surfboards and setting up one of the first high-performance surfboard making machines which I recently sold on my last visit to Brazil two months ago. I no longer have an identity: former surfer, tennis player, and martial arts aficionado, along with using my background and desire to teach allowed me to do varieties of volunteerism: ESL/EFL, nursing home volunteer, and community garden organizer. But now, even my feelings have shut down.
@horowitz71 I see you've been on Mayo Clinic Connect for awhile and have been sharing your journey. I'd like to share that I'm very sad as I read about your activities in the past including surfing, working in the industry , tennis, and martial arts, that you can no longer do. Since you reside in Monterey and from what you've shared in other Discussions it is evident that you have explored many avenues and resources in Northern California including Stanford and the Palo Alto VA.
One of our mentors, @johnbishop followed up on your question about benzodiazepine medication and he located resources about benzo derivatives that could be useful for you. Have you discussed this with the VA physicians that you have seen?
-- VA Formularies - BENZODIAZEPINE DERIVATIVE SEDATIVES/HYPNOTICS (CN302) https://www.va.gov/formularyadvisor/class/CN302
There is also a Talk to the VA Crisis Line link (in red) at the top right of the VA Formulary page.
Thank you so much for your reply. I actually started treatment with a new<br />
dr yesterday and I am very hopeful. I really like her. She is putting me on<br />
Latuda which I haven't tried before and allowed me an extra Klonopin for<br />
those extra anxiety moments. My thinking is very positive today. I am going<br />
out with a good friend to lunch and a movie. I always feel good around her.<br />
<br />
I will save your post because there is a lot of good info in there.<br />
<br />
Thanks again,<br />
<br />
Joanne<br />
@jbyrd you’re off to a good start - a new doctor who you like, change in medication/dosage, and going out or doing activities with a good friend you like to be with. That’s awesome! Keep up the good work! 🙌🏼 Spend as much time as you can with people who make you feel good, and as @mlemieux suggested, smile at people you don’t know. I have always got back a smile when I have made eye contact and smiled at someone! I’ve always marveled at that!
I was diagnosed bipolar about 35 yrs ago; given zoloft, depakote, and benzodiazapines--taken up to 2mg/day. I was getting the perfect cocktail for stabilizing my mood, reducing my depression, and with the anti-anxiety meds that I used only when necessary, even going four years without taking any at all, I went back to taking benzos while living in Brazil, but came back to the U.S. after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. Since the oxycontin hoopla, the VA (got Parkinson's from either Agent Orange exposure or toxic drinking water while stationed at Camp Lejeune), neither the VA nor anyone else in Calif will prescribe benzos any more. Now, with the effects of Parkinson's Disease thrown into the mix, I can no longer function normally. My therapist told me that at my age, taking benzos--a half to one mg/day would be fine. But I can't find a doctor who will prescribe them. I'm at the point where I don't want anything more except to sleep. I'm sick of humanity and would check out if I didn't have my loving wife by my side. My tremors and balance get much worse when I leave the apartment. I've become pretty much a shut-in. Please reply. I need help. I'm not suicidal, but my quality of life sucks. I'd been a lifelong surfer and made a decent living in the industry--designing and shaping surfboards and setting up one of the first high-performance surfboard making machines which I recently sold on my last visit to Brazil two months ago. I no longer have an identity: former surfer, tennis player, and martial arts aficionado, along with using my background and desire to teach allowed me to do varieties of volunteerism: ESL/EFL, nursing home volunteer, and community garden organizer. But now, even my feelings have shut down.
@horowitz71, checking in. I just came in from a late-ish walk and the weather is amazingly pleasant tonight where I live. It did me a lot of good. I'm about to turn in soon, but wanted to check in with you to see how you're doing?
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I am almost in the same situation! I have had lots of therapy and had to leave my job! I do not a sense of smell! I have some kind of body odor. I am talked about , laughed at and you name at! It is a vaginal odor! I wish I could afford to come to this clinic! I need help!!
I am also bipolar I and take lamictal and Klonopin as well as meet with my psychiatrist every two months and my therapist every two weeks.
I was diagnosed bipolar about 35 yrs ago; given zoloft, depakote, and benzodiazapines--taken up to 2mg/day. I was getting the perfect cocktail for stabilizing my mood, reducing my depression, and with the anti-anxiety meds that I used only when necessary, even going four years without taking any at all, I went back to taking benzos while living in Brazil, but came back to the U.S. after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. Since the oxycontin hoopla, the VA (got Parkinson's from either Agent Orange exposure or toxic drinking water while stationed at Camp Lejeune), neither the VA nor anyone else in Calif will prescribe benzos any more. Now, with the effects of Parkinson's Disease thrown into the mix, I can no longer function normally. My therapist told me that at my age, taking benzos--a half to one mg/day would be fine. But I can't find a doctor who will prescribe them. I'm at the point where I don't want anything more except to sleep. I'm sick of humanity and would check out if I didn't have my loving wife by my side. My tremors and balance get much worse when I leave the apartment. I've become pretty much a shut-in. Please reply. I need help. I'm not suicidal, but my quality of life sucks. I'd been a lifelong surfer and made a decent living in the industry--designing and shaping surfboards and setting up one of the first high-performance surfboard making machines which I recently sold on my last visit to Brazil two months ago. I no longer have an identity: former surfer, tennis player, and martial arts aficionado, along with using my background and desire to teach allowed me to do varieties of volunteerism: ESL/EFL, nursing home volunteer, and community garden organizer. But now, even my feelings have shut down.
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4 Reactions@horowitz71 I see you've been on Mayo Clinic Connect for awhile and have been sharing your journey. I'd like to share that I'm very sad as I read about your activities in the past including surfing, working in the industry , tennis, and martial arts, that you can no longer do. Since you reside in Monterey and from what you've shared in other Discussions it is evident that you have explored many avenues and resources in Northern California including Stanford and the Palo Alto VA.
One of our mentors, @johnbishop followed up on your question about benzodiazepine medication and he located resources about benzo derivatives that could be useful for you. Have you discussed this with the VA physicians that you have seen?
-- VA Formularies - BENZODIAZEPINE DERIVATIVE SEDATIVES/HYPNOTICS (CN302)
https://www.va.gov/formularyadvisor/class/CN302
There is also a Talk to the VA Crisis Line link (in red) at the top right of the VA Formulary page.
-- Benzodiazepine Derivative:
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/benzodiazepine-derivative
At the end of your post you said "even my feelings have shut down". Can you explain more?
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5 Reactions@jbyrd you’re off to a good start - a new doctor who you like, change in medication/dosage, and going out or doing activities with a good friend you like to be with. That’s awesome! Keep up the good work! 🙌🏼 Spend as much time as you can with people who make you feel good, and as @mlemieux suggested, smile at people you don’t know. I have always got back a smile when I have made eye contact and smiled at someone! I’ve always marveled at that!
@colleenyoung that link is “invalid URL” - for me, at least.
Thank, @rashida. I updated the URL. Here's further info about pharmacogenomics from Mayo Clinic
- Pharmacogenomics in Patient Care https://www.mayo.edu/research/centers-programs/center-individualized-medicine/patient-care/pharmacogenomics/patients
- What is pharmacogenomic testing and who is it for? https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/living-well/what-is-pharmacogenomic-testing-and-who-is-it-for/
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4 Reactions@colleenyoung both links worked this time! Thanks!
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1 Reaction@horowitz71, checking in. I just came in from a late-ish walk and the weather is amazingly pleasant tonight where I live. It did me a lot of good. I'm about to turn in soon, but wanted to check in with you to see how you're doing?
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