1. < Aging Well

To move near family or stay put

Posted by beckboop13 @beckboop13, Jul 28 11:14am

we have been living in a retirement community for 21 years, and our children are encouraging us to move back to our previous community and be near them. We have long-term care insurance which could cover us in either place should we have the need?

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theresa105 | @theresa105 | Aug 30 6:49pm
In reply to @gravity3 "I wonder if it might be possible to do a other trial run in the town..." + (show)
@gravity3

I wonder if it might be possible to do a other trial run in the town with family and friends and not give up your current home
Perhaps it will offer some clarity. Best of luck with your decision.

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Hi:
I have moved back and forth between my hometown and where I am now, I think 4 times in 37 years. So now I think it's time to go home again. Thank you for your post.

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thenazareneshul | @thenazareneshul | Aug 30 9:22pm
In reply to @theresa105 "Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want..." + (show)
@theresa105

Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want our last days to be like. Your words state it plain and simple. It's a decision I have been avoiding for a number of years. I keep thinking I'm younger than I am. Turning 75 in two weeks seems like that's someone else. It is time to go home and see those I love, in person, and be there around for more than 2 weeks every couple of years. Thanks again for your lovely post. I will be moving home again.

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I pray you will be blessed and be equally a blessing to them too.

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1 reply
beckboop13 | @beckboop13 | Aug 31 6:37am
In reply to @theresa105 "Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want..." + (show)
@theresa105

Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want our last days to be like. Your words state it plain and simple. It's a decision I have been avoiding for a number of years. I keep thinking I'm younger than I am. Turning 75 in two weeks seems like that's someone else. It is time to go home and see those I love, in person, and be there around for more than 2 weeks every couple of years. Thanks again for your lovely post. I will be moving home again.

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I like your thinking. Please continue to post as this takes place.

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beckboop13 | @beckboop13 | Aug 31 6:39am
In reply to @theresa105 "Hi: Thank you. My gut feeling is that I should move too. I sure do hate..." + (show)
@theresa105

Hi:
Thank you. My gut feeling is that I should move too. I sure do hate goodbyes and leaving such a beautiful city, but I don't want to be here at 80, and still alone. Thanks for your reply.

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My gut feeling is the same, but it is so hard. My husband has dementia and is 85, so not sure how this would affect him

Please keep us posted. Thank you.

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marybasaldella | @tinamaria1 | Aug 31 8:12am
In reply to @theresa105 "Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want..." + (show)
@theresa105

Thank you for your post. I guess it does boil down to what we (I) want our last days to be like. Your words state it plain and simple. It's a decision I have been avoiding for a number of years. I keep thinking I'm younger than I am. Turning 75 in two weeks seems like that's someone else. It is time to go home and see those I love, in person, and be there around for more than 2 weeks every couple of years. Thanks again for your lovely post. I will be moving home again.

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SAFE JOURNEYS DEAR! packing, moving, etc. will be a bit difficult at times, physically and emotionally...take your time, be organized, make a daily schedule and stick to it...rest in between packing, etc..in the end you'll have no regrets being closer to more family and friends for sure..

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1 reply
danatramba | @danatramba | Aug 31 11:30am

During COVID-19, we were isolated from family. We evaluated our lives and moved from AZ to OK to live close to our two sons, our future caretakers.
I made a spreadsheet evaluating 20 retirement communities. It took us 10 months to slowly downsize and choose a place to move. It has been a blessing. We have many more friends, and I know everyone in the over 50 homes in our community. I choose my meals from a menu instead of grocery shopping and cooking. It is a life we have worked hard and saved for the last 40 years.
We have Long-term care insurance, and now they come into your homes, so we did not need a facility with a nursing home. We no longer eat in front of the TV but enjoy conversations with our neighbors. When something happens to one of us, the other has their support community. We wanted to choose where we moved to and sort our own belongings. The move benefited us physically and cognitively. Do your homework and visit with your financial planner. Then find some place where you would love to live.

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1 reply
beckboop13 | @beckboop13 | Aug 31 3:17pm
In reply to @danatramba "During COVID-19, we were isolated from family. We evaluated our lives and moved from AZ to..." + (show)
@danatramba

During COVID-19, we were isolated from family. We evaluated our lives and moved from AZ to OK to live close to our two sons, our future caretakers.
I made a spreadsheet evaluating 20 retirement communities. It took us 10 months to slowly downsize and choose a place to move. It has been a blessing. We have many more friends, and I know everyone in the over 50 homes in our community. I choose my meals from a menu instead of grocery shopping and cooking. It is a life we have worked hard and saved for the last 40 years.
We have Long-term care insurance, and now they come into your homes, so we did not need a facility with a nursing home. We no longer eat in front of the TV but enjoy conversations with our neighbors. When something happens to one of us, the other has their support community. We wanted to choose where we moved to and sort our own belongings. The move benefited us physically and cognitively. Do your homework and visit with your financial planner. Then find some place where you would love to live.

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Happy that you found a good life.

We are looking to do the same. Thanks for your story.

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theresa105 | @theresa105 | Aug 31 6:56pm
In reply to @thenazareneshul "I pray you will be blessed and be equally a blessing to them too." + (show)
@thenazareneshul

I pray you will be blessed and be equally a blessing to them too.

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Thank you for your blessing. I wish the same for you and yours.

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theresa105 | @theresa105 | Aug 31 7:16pm
In reply to @tinamaria1 "SAFE JOURNEYS DEAR! packing, moving, etc. will be a bit difficult at times, physically and emotionally...take..." + (show)
@tinamaria1

SAFE JOURNEYS DEAR! packing, moving, etc. will be a bit difficult at times, physically and emotionally...take your time, be organized, make a daily schedule and stick to it...rest in between packing, etc..in the end you'll have no regrets being closer to more family and friends for sure..

Jump to this post

Thank you for your good wishes. I had recently moved to a different apartment within my senior building. It is so much nicer than the one I lived in for the past 10 years. That one faced an 8-story parking garage. The new one has a great view, an extra window and is larger.
As I have put things away, I have been purging unnecessary stuff. After my Sister passed away, I had started to go thru all my photos and letters and pass them on to her children and husband. I have been the family photo person, so there are a lot of them. I will also pass them on to my other siblings and their children. Now that I have decided to move, I have even more reason to get this done. But wow, what a lot of photos. When I very first moved here in 1975, I arrived with a small suitcase, a box of books, a clothes basket and a photo album tucked into the trunk of my car. As someone who has always tried to keep a limit on possessions, I still have so many things. I know from helping my Dad pack up our childhood home when it was time for him to move, that the process of going through our things is a way to say goodbye to that part of our lives. I really like your advice to make a daily schedule. Otherwise, it's too easy for me to daydream and be nostalgic and not get any sorting/packing done. Thanks for that. Theresa105

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Funcountess | @funcountess | Sep 1 1:45am
In reply to @beckboop13 "So sorry for you. It has cost us a fortune to pay for this all of..." + (show)
@beckboop13

So sorry for you. It has cost us a fortune to pay for this all of these years, but it is not so great to be in a home.

My husband also has Alzheimer’s, and we tried the home for him, but it was awful, so I take care of him at home myself . At this stage, I can still do it.

Maybe you can hire a person to be in your home to help with whatever you need. Try to stay there if you can.

Best of luck.

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A reverse mortgage will give you money to hire an agency so you can remain at home. Try to stay in your place alone as long as you can.

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