Connect
How about a laugh, (hopefully)
I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.
Connect
Oh, that danged dry humor!
Both Galen and Hippocrates said that if you can lay off the black bile, you'll never need to sing "Melancholy Baby" again!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionComments:
European weirdos?
Ya got some gall, samcal! Wish I could dance that "bad"!
Dancin' Scandinavians: Starts off weak (the opening moves should have been set to my favorite Sam & Dave song, "Hold on, I'm Coming"), but, ahem, has a strong Finnish.
Seinfeld: great scenes!
Japanese Juggernauts: No doubt inspired by Disney's tutued Hippos. If I saw a Sumo wrestler dressed like that, I'd laugh, but definitely not to his face!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionSomeone Else called and wants her joke back.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionComic Relief - I Am Amazing
I passed the bathroom mirror.
I looked at my reflection and said, "You are Amazing! Everybody else? Not so much..."
My wife was passing by and heard me.
She started to laugh.
Then, she started to laugh more.
And then, she was laughing so much she had tears in her eyes.
Then we sat down to watch TV. And 15 minutes later, she started laughing again.
And 15 minutes after that.
I said, "What's so funny?"
And she said, "You said, out loud, that you were amazing..."
And she began laughing again. And this time she laughed so hard, she got a muscle cramp in her stomach.
I said, "serves you right."
And she said, "I don't care...it's worth it...you said, 'You are amazing!' "
And she was off to another round of hysterical laughter.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactionsabout idiots...
+++++
Sometimes the world seems like a big hole. You spend all your life shouting down it and all you hear are echoes of some idiot yelling nonsense down a hole.
- Adam Duritz
++++
List of Idiot Quotes
https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/idiot-quotes
++++
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsI posted a bunch of doctor jokes on here awhile ago...
in case you might like some of these:
Bit of fun - - - - Doctor Jokes
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. It's just a small scalpel incision. No reason to panic."
The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim."
The surgeon responds, "I know…. I'm Jim."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away
(an oldie, but a goodie)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Patient: “Doctor, are the test results ready yet? I’m dying of curiosity!”
Doctor: “uh… Not from curiosity.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Doctor: “You only have six months to live.”
Patient: “That’s horrible, what should I do?”
Doctor: “You should get married.”
Patient: “Get married!?! What are you talking about, with only six months to live?!?”
Doctor: “But, you see, if you get married…that six months…it will FEEL like a lifetime…”
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Doctor: “You’re as healthy as a horse!”
Jimmy: “That’s great!”
Doctor: “well…..A horse with kidney stones.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."
"Jeremy, I am your Mother! Please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now…”
+++++++++
Doctor: “I have some bad news and some worse news.”
Patient: “Uh…OK, give me the bad news first”
Doctor: “You are desperately ill, you only have 24 hours to live.”
Patient: “That’s HORRIBLE!!! But, uh, what could be worse!?!”
Doctor: “uh…I forgot to call you yesterday…”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
"After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. She said, "Who was that?"
++++
Guy goes to the doctor.
Guy: “So, doc, is there anything wrong?”
Doctor: “You have Tom Jones disease.”
Guy: “What's that?”
Doctor: “It's a kind of skin condition.”
Guy: “Tom Jones?”
Doctor: “Yeah, it's named after the singer, he had it.”
Guy: “Is it common?”
Doctor: “Well, it's not unusual…”
++++
How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?
That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance.
++++
Comedian Brian Regan "THAT'S WHERE IT DOESN'T HURT!"
++++
Woman on the phone: "My husband accidentally swallowed an Aspirin, what should I do now?"
“Give him a headache!” says the doctor.
++++
Patient says, "Doctor, I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."
Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug."
++++
Doctor: “You have high blood pressure and amnesia.”
Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have high blood pressure!”
++++
Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news."
Patient: "What's the good news?"
Doctor: "They're going to name a disease after you."
++++
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital one day. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.
“Is my time up?” she asked him.
“No,” God answered, “you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. She decided that if she had so much time left to live, she might as well make the most of it. Therefore, she had a facelift, a tummy tuck, and died her hair before exiting the hospital.
After her tummy tuck was over, she was released from the hospital. However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.
When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, “I thought you said I had another 40 years?! Why didn’t you save me?”
“I didn’t recognize you,” God replied.
++++
A doctor says, "The good news is it's all in your head."
"The bad news is it's brain cancer."
++++
Patient: "What's my life expectancy?"
Doctor: "120."
Patient: "120 what? Days? Weeks? Months?"
Doctor: "119..."
++++
A woman calling Massachusetts General Hospital says, “Hello, I want to know if there’s any sign that a patient is improving at all.”
The receptionist asks, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”
“Of course,” the woman replied, “Sarah Finkel, Room 304.”
The receptionist responds by saying, “Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, if her blood pressure continues to improve like it is then Dr. Cohen is looking to send her home on Tuesday!”
“That’s fantastic,” the woman replied, “oh, I’m so thrilled!”
“From your enthusiasm, I figure you must be a close family member?”
The woman replied, “I’m Sarah Finkel in 302! Dr. Cohen doesn’t tell me a word.”
++++
A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.”
“Oh no, honey, are you OK? What happened?”
“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.”
++++
Why do surgeons wear masks?
So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake.
++++
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
7 ReactionsI think the one most on target these days is the one about how many doctors does it take..and the answer depends on whether or not you have health insurance!!!
Thx!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionWonderful! Thanks for posting!
"Borrowed" From Louie, who probably borrowed them from itchy's and my favorite person, Somebody Else:
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsThanks. I need these. The Bible says:
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine."
And it's true.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 Reactions