How do you deal with aging?

I too loved your words. You are a wise man💕
I lost my husband of 54 years 2 years ago. Man oh man. My mind is in overdrive and at a full stop everyday.
And I too fell in love again with my husband the last 5 years or so. It was heavenly. I miss him so Just to wink at him!
I am reading all replies on aging well because I turned 80 this year. Starting to come to terms with it now. Praise the lord and can’t wait to see both of them.

What did you mean with the statement Got it

I so needed this today!
One of my best friends for the past ten years threw me a curve ball on Friday, telling us she is selling her winter "tiny home" next door to me and returning full time to her home state, to be closer to family, and to begin a new chapter in life - helping to develop the art community in small town southeastern Nebraska,
It took me 2 days to process my loss of (nearby) friend, mentor and art teacher so I could call back and celebrate her new adventure. After all, we have maintained our connection long-distance for half of every year, and it no longer costs anything to call and chat for hours about our lives.
Now I need to think how I can recreate our "quality" time together by visiting one another at our Northern homes, and providing her with a winter escape if she wants. I am also looking forward to meeting the next owned of her home and studio.

Change is always hard but you have a wonderful attitude! How fortunate that your friend & neighbor is “only” moving. Friendships can always continue even from a distance. I still have a close long distance friendship with someone I went through school with & we graduated in 1962!

Two things.

A dear friend died in 2018, and his people called it "promoted to glory" which I know is a spiritual reference. It's also putting things into the positive light, instead of what we left behind are dealing with, the grieving. He, himself, was a deeply spiritual man, so I have no doubt that's exactly what he got, promoted to a good eternity.

I once got to talking with an acquaintance on her 40th birthday, and when I found out it was her 40th, I did know what to say. She told me "Hey, I earned every one of my 40 years" and so she had. She was a foster mother in that county, besides raising her own son, most days, as her husband was a long haul trucker. In all my years since then, I just tell myself, no matter that the years have only piled on since then, "I earned every one of these years."

So have you. No one else earned them. You did that. You are the one who was present and accountable (for good or for bad) for each and every day of ever year of all your years. Talk about an accomplishment.

I honestly don’t give it much thought. Of course aches and pains are reminders but I’ve dealt with that for decades.

I am 63. Ten years ago I almost died from bacterial meningitis of my brain. I lived survived thrived. I have aches and pains try to live intentionally and break things into tasks and sub tasks. I have 2 ESAs dogs and walk 3000 plus steps daily. I do not think in terms of how much time do I have left..

What a great attitude you have! Thanks for sharing.

I find comfort in knowing where I am going when I die. It's hard for me to imagine how I would feel not knowing. I do have some fear regarding how I will die. I reminisce a lot about my younger years and enjoy listening to music that reminds me of the good old days. I count waking up in the morning a blessing. I drink my coffee and think about what I want to do today and what I need to do today. I try to keep my body active enough to avoid hurting so much. I help others as much as I can. I do get depressed at times morning the loss of loved ones and thinking about past regrets, but when that happens I get busy which snaps me out of it most of the time. You can't change the inevitable, so try not to worry.

prcrowe, I know you wrote this back in January, but wanted you to know, if you're still reading comments, that I could have written this *word *for* *word*. I turned 75 in May and basically feel exactly as you do. I am in a couple of online women's groups and enjoy reading how fulfilled and joyful many of these ladies are at our ages and even older! Some are religious, so that makes things easier for them, but some are like you and me, to use a scholarly phrase, only "kinda spiritual" and many are simply non-believers.

I used to see life as outdoor ascending steps, grass on both side. Now that image is gone, for several years now, replaced with a void. It used to be very comforting to assume I had many years ahead and when I felt scared about death, I relied on that hope. Which is what is missing from my life now. Hope.

I wanted to die working, head on keyboard if necessary, but that unfortunately, did not happen. Work saved my life in so many ways, as did working out. Both purposeful escapes from realities of life I didn't want to deal with. Therapy was helpful here and there, but not now that I'm obsessing about the reality of death and the "x" amt of years left. I find it tedious now.

You noted mindfulness/living one day at a time. Never worked for me either. I try, Universe knows I try. I'm immersed in classes I love and still work out as much as I can. And that does help, just the busy-ness of it. I try to do things that at least distract, if not absorb a lifelong anxious mind and it's not easy. I do mourn my youth and so wish I could do it over again as myself but *with* several changes to my outlook on self and life.

I wonder, have things gotten better for you since Jan? I wish I had more to offer you.

When I was about 45 or so, I experienced that sudden and jolting fear about the end of life. Being obsessive, of course, I couldn't let it go. I actually wrote Elisabeth Kubler-Ross a letter, never expecting a response. I was astonished to receive a letter from her in record time. Among other things, she told me that when the time came, I'd be ready. And in the meantime, just to go about living. Nothing that inspired an epiphany, but I did and do still take some comfort in the possibility that when the time comes, I will be ready. TBH, I am not opposed to a quiet death in my sleep, as I can see and feel life outside me marching by, leaving me in its wake. I know not one person who would be affected by my death. My husband would be totally fine, as would my grown daughter. And my small family would hardly feel my loss as I don't see or communicate with them much and haven't for a very long time. We are very different.

Please know you have a sister and certainly, MANY sisters out here and everywhere feeling as you do.
Much love and hoping you have found fulfilling ways to live in the moment since Jan.