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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 17 6:30pm | Replies (762)Comment receiving replies
Hi there,
After two years at home with caregivers, my mom and myself, my Dad is starting the final marathon. He has stopped eating and drinking anything but a few spoonfuls a day. He looks like he just can't coordinate his swallowing anymore and the doctor said he can't predict the timing of the end for him but that this doesn't appear to be just another temporary set back and we should be prepared and get organized. It's so awful. Since he lost all ability to communicate two years ago, we have been relying on hand signals and his eyes to get feedback. This has also stopped. When you lost you MIL from Alzheimer's @IndianaScott, did she just stop eating? How long did it take before the end came once the final decline started? Our entire family consists of my mom, my husband and teenage son so I need to be the strong one for my mom. Any info you could offer to help prepare would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Monika
Replies to "Hi there, After two years at home with caregivers, my mom and myself, my Dad is..."
Thank you Scott for your quick reply. 56 days for your wife?? I'm sure that experience is horrific...nobody should have to endure that-on both sides.
I guess the "need to know" freak in me has to accept that this is an unknown. Hard to stand by and feel helpless...
Thanks again,
Monika
Hi, I am new to the group, but with past experiences, I would talk with a Hospice in your adea. They are an awesome group and will help you through this season of Alzheimer's. I am a care giver for my husband who is in the moderate stages, so we are going through repeated questions, not driving, and afraid to leave my side.
Monika, I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. It is never easy losing you Dad even when you know the end is near. It will still feel like a punch in gut. A year ago tomorrow my Dad past away. He did not have any type of dementia but he and I took care of my mom together for years. Eventually siblings started helping. One still does. But back to the end of life questions regarding your Dad. IndianaScott is right on in the fact each person is unique in this. I would say don't be surprised if he rallies. Your family will start thinking "wait he is getting better". It is common for people to have a sudden burst, a last fight so to speak. Don't let it devastate you when it suddenly turns back. Instead enjoy those few precious moments. Being the strong one. Yeap for your Mom you do. That means you're going to have to ask your husband and son to step up for you. They will. You will all soon crave normalcy. Whatever that new normal is to be. Soon after you all find it take some time to not be the strong one even for you Mom. Once it's safe go cry or yell or whatever even if it on your husbands shoulders or your Mom. Grief is different for each of us. Let it be what it is for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you so much for this!
Welcome to Connect, @ginall Have you contacted hospice in your area to understand what services they offer? If yes, can you share what your experience was like?
How is your husband doing today?
I have not contacted hospice, because I thought you have to have a doctor do that. My husband has had a terrible week, was not able to attend daycare on two days that he was scheduled to because of behavior at home. He wet all over the carpet one day, and then went back to bed and slept 4 hours. He did attend daycare today and seemed to do okay. Doctor recently gave us a new medicine to try and I think that was part of the problem. He does not adjust well to most medications. Can not even talk allergy medicine as it makes him hallucinate really bad. thanks for asking about him.
Welcome to Connect, @grandmabus I'm glad your husband was able to attend daycare yesterday. Has he adjusted to the medication?
You can talk to your doctor about hospice to be prepared for the time when it comes.
He was able to attend daycare on Friday for the first time this past week and seemed to do okay there, however he is not adjusting to the medicine so I did not give it to him before going to daycare, he really is better without the new medicine.
Connect
Good morning @mojo1965 I am sorry to hear of this situation for you all.
End of life is a unique and personalized journey. It is not the same for any two of us. That said my MIL passed after only three days of no food. My wife after 56 days.
Sending all good thoughts to you all! Scott