Withdrawal from antidepressants

You can learn about Dr. Mark Horowitz here: https://markhorowitz.org. His YouTube presentations are tremendously helpful and informative, as his experience is that of both patient and physician. I am grateful for his book, which I gifted to my doctor and to my pharmacist, both of whom expressed their appreciation.
As to my crash . . . I have weaned myself off Effexor twice. I was fine for a period of two months or so, then it was as if a switch flipped: I was terrified of everything, panicky, crying, extremely anxious about every little thing, did not want to leave the house, did not want to do anything, really. (Fortunately, I was retired.) Lost my appetite and twenty pounds, gagged on food, could not sleep, had nightmares if I did sleep, did not want to face the morning--would not have gotten out of bed if it weren't for my dog.
The first time was in 2019. My mother had died and we thought my husband was ill, so I called my doctor and said I needed to go back on "that pill" immediately--75mg Effexor XR (though I had been prescribed the drug for hot flashes). The second time was one year ago. It occurred to me that I'd been through this upheaval before--but this time, no one had died and my husband was not ill. That's when it dawned on me that I was dependent on Effexor and the hell I was experiencing was withdrawal. My online research confirmed it. I tried to stick it out, but I couldn't. I resumed Effexor at 37.5mg XR and then switched to 50mg immediate release in two doses, 25mg a.m. and p.m. Having been on this drug since menopause and having failed to quit it twice, I know it will take me a long time--maybe years--to successfully quit.

Dr Horowitz writes from
Maudsley Hosp in UK
SE London
There has been a few who have successfully weaned by using very small doses over a reasonable time depending on how you feel
At your current dosage you are doing well Just keep going and you will succeed

Thank you very much for your detailed explanation of your experience. It is so helpful that you have kept accurate records of changes in dosages; I wonder how many people do. I am tempted to ask you, considering your success, what is a good way to record changes in dosages and reactions. Do you use a journal?
I am amazed that something like Effexor would have been prescribed for hot flashes.

The maximum dose I've taken over many years is 75mg, so there haven't been many changes for me to remember--just my two efforts to eliminate it. I have made notations on a calendar regarding those, so I can refer to that if needed. Frankly, the experience has been so distressing that it's hard to forget.
When I saw my gynecologist earlier this year (the one who prescribed Effexor died of Covid years ago), and told her about my ordeal trying to get off the drug, she said very casually that she still prescribes Effexor for hot flashes. After my chin hit the floor, she said, "Not everyone has the problem getting off of it that you do." I was too stunned to tell her that too many do! And with more people being on anti-anxiety drugs due to the pandemic, I suspect that we will be hearing more in the future from people who try unsuccessfully to discontinue the drug. Perhaps as our numbers become greater, the FDA and pharmaceutical companies will finally address the needs of those of us who are struggling to end this drug dependency.