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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
Hello. My name is Debbie. My husband had a heart transplant on September 12, 2019 at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. While I am so grateful for his new heart, I’m struggling with our life changes. There’s a battle within me knowing on one hand it’s an absolute miracle what has happened in his life, on the other hand I have been his caregiver for years and feel like time is passing me by. This is not even close to the retirement I envisioned for us. I love him with all my heart and I don’t want to move on without him. I just feel stuck.
Replies to "Hello. My name is Debbie. My husband had a heart transplant on September 12, 2019 at..."
Hello @debbief I am sorry to read of your husband’s health issues. A tough road for him for sure.
You’re right about our lives changing due to caregiving and a loved one’s major health condition. It was true in my wife’s case with her brain cancer diagnosis. It was never the future we had thought about, but we had no choice, especially her.
It did take time for us to understand each new reality as it unfolded on us.
@debbief I can so relate to what you say about being stuck and this not being the retirement you had planned. My husband and I loved to travel and it all came to a crashing halt when I got sick. He became my caretaker and missed so many things he wanted to do. I’m a lot stronger now and have shown him that I can be on my own for several days, so I encourage his camping trips, fishing expeditions, etc. We make some big travel plans always knowing that we can cancel if I’m not up to it. This is definitely not what we had planned, either, but......
What care do you do for him now? Can he go places? Have you thought about short trips with other women?
I am getting ready to start my journey for caring for my husband who is on the heart transplant list at Mayo Florida campus. We are both scared for what the future will bring into our lives in the next year. He is 73 and we are or were very active until the COVID outbreak. It would be nice to know someone who is getting close to the one year Transplant anniversary and talk about what to expect. He is millirone and would like to know if your husband was on this waiting for his transplant.
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Hello @debbief, and welcome to Mayo Connect!
I do applaud you for your honest expression of feelings. It really took courage to write about your feelings as you did.
I am sure that this is a different retirement journey than what you had anticipated and that while you are grateful for your husband's new
heart, you are still struggling with your caregiver responsibilities.
I am sure that others on this forum can appreciate your feeling of being "stuck." I'll invite @IndianaScott and @debbraw and others to join you in this discussion.