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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
Hi all. I didn't want to just come in and drop my baggage so I guess I should introduce myself. I'm from Colorado. I grew up in Iowa and was part of the "caregiving team" and a Stephen Minister at my church for many years so this is not my first go-round with helping folks who are struggling with illness or grief issues. That said, the caregiving has piled on us deep and heavy this summer and we are struggling a bit. After a 6-year battle with breast cancer, my sister-in-law passed away in August and the entire family is in grief. Losing her at 57 was a big loss to all of us, so I'm using my Stephen Ministry skills to help family members navigate their grief process. On top of that, my in-laws live with me. My FIL has significant health issues and my MIL has mental illness and dementia due to a condition called Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy. Because she's a bully and will literally prevent him from resting and sleeping, we are constantly dealing with drama both from her treatment of him and just her liking to create scenes. Thanks for letting me join the group.
Replies to "Hi all. I didn't want to just come in and drop my baggage so I guess..."
Hi @coloradogirl It is good to have you here with the caregivers group! I read your post as well as your other post and it sure seems like you have your caregiving plate filled to overflowing. It is easy to get overwhelmed with caregiving as you know! I bet you are thankful for your Stephen Ministry training!
While each patient and situation is different, I know from my experiences with my MIL (dementia) and my wife (brain cancer with many dementia-like symptoms), it was always very hard to keep telling myself and believing 'it's the disease talking not the person'.
Also, my wife's neuro doctor told us, very early on in her disease progression, that a person with a brain illness often has their personality and personality quirks magnified a hundred fold. He also said rarely does their personality change, but what they were like before is a beast with brain diseases. It was very true with my wife!
It was interesting to me to read about how your MIL interacts with your FIL. When my dad was dying from congestive heart failure my mom all of a sudden began to constantly nag him to not rest, do more, sleep less, keep going, etc. Her doctor told us it was her way of coping with her fear of losing my dad.
What do you see as your biggest caregiving challenge right now?
Strength, courage, and peace
@coloradogirl - My heart is breaking for you. I can't imagine how difficult this is. My husband has dementia but its just him and me. What you are going thru must be so much more difficult. I've started seeing a counselor. It is a huge help. Are you getting any kind of support for yourself?
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Hello @coloradogirl .
As a long time Stephen Minister myself I understand what great skills you must have but I also know how hard it is to effectively care for your own family, especially with them living with you.
You undoubtedly need to get some support for yourself. Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you work through this difficult situation?
Sometimes when we are so close to a situation it becomes hard to be objective. Will you consider some counseling?