That is a tough one @kw1904861 Very tough. My wife often resorted to name calling as well as complaining to others that I was the worst caregiver in the world for some reason or another often using some very hurtful language in doing so. I'd tell myself it was 'the disease' talking, but it often still hurt!

One day my wife did say to me, in an unguarded moment, how afraid she was 'all day long, all the time, week in week out'. That did help me manage it a bit better, but it still stung each time it happened. It also came home to roost with me when I happened catch my hand between the door and the frame when she fell against it. I was angry, let loose with a few not so choice words, and said how much I hurt. She smiled at me and said 'sorry, but maybe now you know how I feel everyday'. It helped me gain a bit of missing perspective on my part. 🙂

For a good part of my work career I was a fundraiser for nonprofit organizations. I used to say being a fundraiser gave me thick skin since I got told 'no' so many times, but it surely wasn't thick enough for some of these things in caregiving.

I remember once she was angry with me and was sputtering trying to come up with whatever name she was going to call me. She finally spit out 'you, you, you, non-Italian!' (She was 100% Italian and I was the first non-Italian to ever marry into the family.) After she said it we both just stared at each other and then started to laugh! At least that once we found humor in the situation!

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been caring for your husband?