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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
We first noticed mild memory loss, missing appointments, meetings etc.? in 2006. At that time he was also diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. He took early retirement in 2007. Neurologist agreed with us that years of oxygen deprivation could possibly have been the initial source of his dementia issues. Since that time, he uses a CPAP every day, but the cognitive decline has continued gradually, until the last couple of years when the memory loss has become more severe. Now, he cannot tell time, cannot do any of the handyman jobs he used to do, struggles to find the word for objects, cannot remember that he already ate, or has not had a bath or brushed his teeth. He does still dress himself, but would wear the same clothes every day, if I didn’t remove them from his closet. He knows that he cannot remember, and usually asks me for answers, but then is often sure I’m mistaken. He knows he is dependent on me, yet is very protective of me and hardly wants me out of his sight. Probably more than you wanted to know, but so far, we make a pretty good team and I certainly know that our difficulties don’t even compare to those of so many others.
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Being a caregiver is being a caregiver. Your line about some having greater difficulries isnt even an issue. When all of us are caring for those we care about, its just our life. Its on and off hard, rewarding, frustrating, exhausting and so on. When any of us read the weight of care giving in these share pages there is a recognition that we are doing a difficult thing but it is our love for these folks that brings us here. Many care givers have to dig deep to find that love and some are trapped. But, here, we're all in it together. My wife often wss concerned that she was destroying my life. Now I look back and know its probably the finest thing I've ever done.
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Good morning @pattyinal Never too much information in this discussion! Caregiving can be so intensely isolating, at least it was for me, that sharing can be a worthwhile outlet for some of that isolation.
I can fully appreciate your comment regarding your husband not wanting you out of his sight. That was 100% true with my wife. I do believe she would call my name over a hundred times a day when I was not at her bedside. She, too, knew she was dependent on me and I believe (although she never told me so) she was afraid of what would happen to her and her needs if I was not there for her.
Funny story --- rom her hospital bed we had to add at home when she was in home hospice she could see the bathroom in the hall I would use. She would beg me to keep the door ajar so she could see that I was in there. I was out one day grocery shopping and there was an art sale on the sidewalk. I saw a painting that was done in purples (my favorite color). It was abstract blocks and then in the center was a human eye peering out from the blocks. It reminded me of the bathroom door routine so I bought it and hung it on the wall --- in that bathroom above the toilet! It is still there, although I do shut the door these days 🙂 Seeing it all the time helped me keep in mind that so often it was the disease running things in our lives and not her.
Glad to read you see yourself as a good team! Huge help in caregiving, too -- as you know! Good to also read your husband can do some of his daily routine, such as dressing himself. My wife lost that ability pretty early so I went to a rotation of several of here favorites since routine was also incredibly important to her at all times. We even named each outfit -- we had 'pinky', 'flowers', 'greenie', etc. I hold up two and give her the choice, which she liked since it gave her a tiny sense of being in control of something in a life totally out of her control.
I hope your day and week ahead are solid and that the sun is shining wherever you and your husband are!
Strength, courage, and peace!