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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
My name is Mona and i have been caregiving for 4 years now. Social work before that. I love what i do but many of my clients have serious health problems and just want to die. They feel there is no reasin to stay in such pain or a body that doesnt work anymore.
I try to encourage, smile and give them purpose but I sometimes agree with them and dont know what to say or do. Any suggestions?
Replies to "My name is Mona and i have been caregiving for 4 years now. Social work before..."
Bless you and what you do. Difficult to know how to respond with someone wanting to die. It certainly has crossed my mind. At times my husband who has PPA Alzheimer's makes comments like that. I've been able to encourage him somewhat but like you I see the limited quality of life and my attitude changes. Just being a good listener can do most good. The less I comment the better for both of us. If the patient is religious perhaps the fact that we do not have the right to take a life including our own could be mentioned.
I try to help them find a purpose instead of just sitting in a chair watching t.v.
It took me a year and a half to get one client out to play bingo once a week. He enjoys it and is making some acquaintences. I donate the time to transport him the one block he cant walk and am trying to find a donated electric scooter. For him.
Thank you and yes, sometimes just to listen but without it breaking the heart. I try to change topics, smile, do something crazy like start dancing around, i try to get the damn tv turned off and put on some music just anything to break their current mindframe
Mona you are a gem. Husb loves music and we don't have tv on until the news which he has for 3.5hrs....not sure he really absorbs it but will try to comment when sports are on or laugh when appropriate. Looking forward to chatting. D
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Hello @monarae It is nice to e-meet you here, Mona. I am Scott and I am pleased to read your question here! It is a tough one for sure.
I don't have a magic answer, but I know frequently, during the 14+ years my wife battled her brain cancer she asked me the same question in one form or another. It was a bit different in that I was caregiving for my wife and not someone else, but often I would tell her we needed more time to be sure we had talked about everything she wanted me to know, remember, tell others, etc. This often would help her move into a different place for a bit and change her thinking.
Often times I would also just say 'honey, I just don't know why. I guess none of us really know why we have to suffer, especially when it came from nothing we ever did as a person.
As I said no magic answers, but I wish I did! What have you tried that has worked so far?
Strength, courage, and peace!